“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Mayor Michael Bloomberg really has no reason to be all freaked out. He’s a gajillionaire, he’s ahead in the polls for the next election cycle, which is what his gajillions bought…a possible third term…and now he’s hired everyone that has been recently unemployed to help with his re-election campaign, including all of Hilary’s screwballs.

So, then I read that “his campaign sought to overpower any candidate considering challenging him, Mr. Bloomberg commissioned a telephone poll last month that spread derogatory information about Representative Anthony D. Weiner one of the mayor’s possible rivals in the race.” Uhhh….Bloomy, chill. You’re acting like the Reese Witherspoon character in the movie “Election”. New Yorkers would never vote in someone named Weiner (pronounced Wee-ner). Mayor Weiner? I don’t think so. And even if he changed the way you say it…to (Whine-er). Mayor Weiner? Nope, not doing it. Relax Mikey. The press alone would ruin his chances, you have nothing to worry about. Oh, and don’t you own all the media outlets anyway?

On another note, did you hear about Rev. William Blasingame in Staten Island who stole 85 grand from the parish in order to fund his face lift and other beautification activities? Genius. Now correct me if I am wrong, but don’t these three men all look like they might go to the same plastic surgeon?