The Pirate Must-Have This Season.
Ok. Who’s gonna bitch slap those Somali pirates? I mean…who do they think they are playing with? And if it is not going to be Barak Obama, not that he doesn’t have good reason, since all our troops are in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Border of Mexico and looming large over North Korea, then who? ‘Cause, girl? They are really pissing me off. Case in point: In the 1970’s, I was bussed to a really, really dangerous high school, and these Somali pirates remind me of the kids who bullied me and my friends. When I had finally had enough, I stood up for myself, and started screaming and cursing like a lunatic, all up in their faces, veins popping from my neck, and never again, for the remainder of my years at Dwight Morrow High School did anyone ever bother me. On the contrary. Their response was, “Damn, that white boy’s got balls!” Now, if it comes to that, I am getting my ass on a plane and prepared to re-enact my high school (non-musical) performance and give those ganiffs (thieves in Yiddish) a piece of my mind.
Chritian Siriano shirts in demand...finally.
And while I am at it, I am going to pack along a collection of Seinfeld Puffy shirts and Christian Siriano blouses and force each of those little bastards to wear them. Because once they are photographed on the world stage looking all sissy-nelly, their careers as buccaneers will be over. I’ll give them such a “shiver me timber” right down their spine. They’ll run back to their villages and string beads looking like the town queens. Which must be illegal in that country and then, surely, they will get their just deserts.
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum. And a can of Coke while we’re at it.
