“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

No matter what is happening on the world stage, here in the United States, we always manage to drum up and incredibly unimportant story that effects very few people, but somehow becomes front page news…a.k.a. fodder for the tabloids. In a world where innocent people are being slaughtered, human rights negated, children being trafficked and wars abound, Katie Lee Joel and Yigal Azrouel managed to become a big story in the daily rags and naturally, I couldn’t resist such a riveting headline. Who could? Where shall I start.… Read More »

Last week I suggested a new reality show, Real Housewives of the Republican Party, which would surely have been a jagoonza hit. Come to find out, that my idea was already in the air, as they are currently casting for Real Housewives of Washington DC. But, knowing that lame Bravo format, they will just cast bunch of pretentious wanna-bees, like they do in every other city, and the train wreck that will ensue, will just be like watching every other episode, insert city here…truly not that riveting. My show, however, would have been far more interesting and current. Since I… Read More »

What do these three have in common you ask? Well, not much, besides the fact that they are in this weekend’s news. And when I say in the news, I say that with maximum sarcasm. Jennifer Aniston was honored by some Women in Film Crystal Award or some such nonsense, because her films are so deep and meaningful. At least the redeeming quality of Jennifer is that she can finally poke fun at herself about the joke that is her love life. In her acceptance speech earlier this week, she said, “I have a strange parallel with movies I was… Read More »

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes… Read More »

Between the Tony Awards and The Young Hollywood Awards, there was much fodder to fiddle with as stars rolled down the red carpet and made their usual attempt to grab that extra bit of spotlight. Sure, the Tony’s don’t get the same rush and sizzle of The Young Hollywood Awards or the MTV Movie Awards, but you might see a little more grace and elegance-ish. There were plenty of red carpet mistakes last night on both coasts.  I’d like to give props to the theater community crowd because it all starts and ends with the craft of acting. Somewhere along… Read More »

Watching Prince Harry gallivant around New York City smiling, shaking hands, planting trees, honoring the fallen at the World Trade Center had such an unexpected impact on me. Granted, he is beyond adorable…but not only because of that. There was something magical about him. I was deeply effected by Princess Diana’s death and seeing him being so magnanimous touched me in a gentle, yet profound way, as did the circumstances around her untimely, unnecessary death. Boy, would she be proud. Then I got to thinking about who do we in America have that exudes that royal air. Since our Kennedy-Camelot… Read More »

There are certain people that are permeating the airwaves that make me say more than I MEAN…WHAT?!? They are a combination of all-wrong, void of social consciousness, and truly annoying. I pray for them to fade into the sunset (’cause I am so spiritual), but that doesn’t seem to help. Someone needs to put them out of their media-blaring misery. So, I’ve started the I MEAN…WHAT?!? Hit List. No, I do not wish them death…rather…complete and everlasting obscurity. Ohmmmmm.… Read More »

When did these tacky gifting suites enter the realm of fabulous? Who were/are these people that infiltrated the groovy backstage green rooms in order to display their sad wares? And when did real celebrities begin to frolic through free shit not minding that it becomes a press opportunity? When did fabulous go all wrong? Somewhere between the Golden Age of Hollywood and now, things have gotten cock-eyed. Press is no longer real press, and celebrities are no longer real celebrities, rather a bunch of schnorrers (Yiddish for moocher, as in Minnie the). Any schnook (Yiddish for stupid person) can be… Read More »

The other thing about non-interesting media whores who get to the top of the heap are those who write “memoirs” or “tell-alls”. There is a vast difference between an obscure writer, compelled to tell their life story, which strikes a chord and becomes a best-seller (Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love) versus Sarah Palin’s seven-million dollar book deal that will have as much depth as my shoe. Or how about the upcoming Studio Head by Jon Peters (Barbra Streisand’s ex hairdresser turned producer) who plans to reveal dirty details about all his trysts and even several of Streisand’s trysts as well.… Read More »

There are so many maroons that capture the media’s attention and become overnight sensations. And when I say sensations, I don’t mean they are sensational by any means. “Sensation” is a homonym, and has more than one meaning. So when you see a picture of  Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are media sensations, for some ungodly reason, it’s not a stimulation of the senses (as per the dictionary), it is more like a weird anomaly. OK, class, let’s skip the English pop quiz and move on. My point is: how on Earth do so many nobodies become somebodies? Why… Read More »