“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

  Just when you thought Chris Brown could not get any douche-ier, comes word that “she” continues to say the stupidest things on Earth. According to Us Weekly, the 22-year-old has acquired a new pick-up line when it comes to talking to the ladies. The singer reportedly approached an attractive brunette at a Grammy Awards gift lounge on Feb. 10 and asked: ‘Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!’ Chris “The Douche” Brown has graced the pages of IMW for years now. Since whooping Rihanna’s ass to throwing a chair in the window of Good Morning… Read More »

A respectful night overall at The Grammy’s except for the few fashion exceptions like robyn, Taraji, Snooky and then some.… Read More »

Whitney Houston had the voice of an angel. Tonight she is singing with her tribe.… Read More »

Comes word of a new endorsement deal from Kris Jenner, who has clearly given up on her daughter’s ability to make some dough-ray-mee by signing on to be the spokes-model for a labia cream, Zestra that enhances old lady orgasms. Are you breching (vomit in Yiddish) yet? You sure should be. If not, I am for you. Imagine Grandma Jenner, and no, I do not mean Kris, I mean Bruce, giving all sorts of titillating pleasure to Kris Jenner in their Kalabasas Kompound. The question really is, as true reality television whores, will Kris and Bruce let the cameras roll… Read More »

Attention K-Mart Shoppers: You will no longer be the brunt of the joke for being bad-haired, car-coat wearing, schleppers who roam the aisles because there is a new breed of shopping low-lives. These folks troll the Target stores for when a designer presents a capsule collection like the recent Jason Wu dress fest and scarfs up as much product as they can carry and balance on their head. Not because they want to wear the stuff, on the contrary. Their goal is resale so I hereby call them Target Whores. Target Whore: A Target Whore is a person or couple… Read More »

What on Earth is everybody buggin’ out about Madonna’s performance? My phone started buzzing immediately with all these haters ripping Madge a new orifice and I don’t know what these people are thinking. My sister said, “She’s 53, put on a pair of flats and dance. What was that?” First of all that was Madonna giving high-fashion glamazon and doing what she does best… holding court. Here are the facts: Madonna came out as Cleopatra being pulled by a bunch of gayish, football playery looking gladiators. Amazing. Madonna wore Givenchy Couture. Beyond. Madge opened with Vogue. Obsessed knowing that thousands of straight… Read More »

What I would really like to know is, how many gay people have mothers that are members of the group One Million Moms? The brouhaha that is currently brouhaha-ing between J.C. Penney and Ellen DeGeneres seems like such a weird non-starter. But since we are in a political year, the evil-doing Republicans  have captured the media’s attention with all their retarded Presidential Debates. Even horny at-home moms want in on the media action.  And (B) just because the organization is called One Million Moms, does not make for one million actual moms. Betcha it is more like the number that… Read More »

Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the water, or from behind a tabloid, comes Kim Kardashian in all her boobalicious glory. Surely she must have been suffering from an acute case of claustrophobia having to hide from the media since leaving that doof-ball after 72 unglorious days of marriage. Kris Jenner must have been keeping her under lock and key as Momager Knows Best. Here is how that exchange went down leading up to this Twitpic.… Read More »

Busy Phillips needs to get busy finding a stylist if she is going to be the arm candy of Michelle Williams at the Oscars. And while I am at it, Maria Menounos and a few Gleeks need to follow suit, sans Michelle.… Read More »

When I learned of Demi’s overdose last weekend, I immediately wrote a piece that included the below entry from November, titled Cougar Fatigue. My sweet nephew was appalled and asked me to take it down. But after I learned the details of what happened that night—which I will NOT share here—as always I was right. So here it is again. Cougar Fatigue is clearly what Demi Moore was suffering from.  But now, I guess we can say that Demi is now officially suffering from Post Cougar Fatigue. A syndrome that older women and even older gay men suffer from. Keeping… Read More »