“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

You are looking into the face of evil. On the right is the known murderer and sadist Charles Manson. Fortunately he is safely tucked away in a maximum security prison after the string of murders including actress, Sharon Tate. The other guy is James Manson, no relation except for their evil-ness. James Mason went on record to say that Barack Obama and his two daughters should be assassinated. This Tea Bagging Tea Party douche bag actually ran for office and posted on Facebook this lovely rant: “Assassinate the f—– n—– and his monkey children.” So, I ask you, are we… Read More »

httpv://youtu.be/tQmG-O7mnoQ May your days be merry and bright.… Read More »

For those of you that do not remember, today is Festivus, the non-denominational holiday made famous by Seinfeld. So… Happy Vestivus for the rest of us. Be sure to stand by a solitary empty pole and pray for the airing of the grievances as well feats of strength. If you are feeling charitable, be sure to make a donation to The Human Fund, started by George Costanza. It is money for people, after all. Right, Sarah Anderson?… Read More »

Everyone’s Best and Worst of the Year lists are out and I am left scratching my head. The thing is: everyone is entitled to their opinion, so who gives one particular shit what one particular person is saying? I recently wrote about The New York Times reviewer Manohla Dargis who I never agree with. What makes her Best List any better than mine? I am equally opinionated and probably ten times funnier, which gives me a leg up on whose opinion should matter. Humor takes smarts, but I digress. The following films are on many Best Lists and my reasons… Read More »

People are boycotting the Kardashians? Hey, I am the first one to poke fun at the Kardashian family. But over 277,000 people have signed the petition to boycott the Kardashians. That is just insane or inane, which makes these boycotters no better than the Kardashians, ecxept maybe just more jealous. What ever happened to the expression “live and let live”? If you are not into them, then don’t watch their shows or wear leopard print. If you are sick to your stomach from listening to their money making scams? Change the channel, turn the page, click away. Like these boycotters… Read More »

Let me tell you what I don’t need for Christmas or anytime soon: a computer that reads my mind. If you know my writing style, well, imagine that is the toned down version from what’s in my head. A mind reading computer sounds way too dangerous for my likings. Come on. Don’t you think we are stepping into dangerous territory? IBM researchers are studying how to link a person’s brain to a device like a smartphone or laptop, “so you would just need to think about calling someone, and it happens.” Imagine how many single women will find themselves between… Read More »

As if being a Lifetime Recipient of the Gross Baboon of the Year Award is not enough, Sarah Palin alluded to or hinted at or just plain vomitted this: “You know, it’s not too late for folks to jump in,” to the Fox Business Network Monday evening. “I don’t know, who knows what will happen in the future.” You don’t know? I know. You will lose miserably. And that will not help your chances of getting another reality show. Unless… and this is a prdiction: Mark Burnett and Sarah Palin want to do a reality show of a failed attempt… Read More »

By the looks on the red carpet at VH-1 Divas 2011, all the the stylists got the memo saying: “Since Dolly Parton is involved this year, please consider dressing your client a bit tackier than usual.”… Read More »

Everyday there is a news item about someone that clearly fits the title, Douche of the Day. I hereby christen this new entry and intend to share with you my Douche of the Day. To kick-off this column I give you Republican Allen West who claims that Democrats are like Nazis or some such nonsense. Talk about calling the kettle black or the real Nazi calling the kettle a Nazi. This moron a.k.a Douche of the Day said this: “If Joseph Goebbels was around, he’d be very proud of the Democrat Party because they have an incredible propaganda machine,” West… Read More »

Patsy and Edina spoof the Kardashians on the new Absolutely Fabulous… Read More »