War Horse & Other Movies

Dec 23, 2011People We Lerve

War Horse... bring tissues.

Everyone’s Best and Worst of the Year lists are out and I am left scratching my head. The thing is: everyone is entitled to their opinion, so who gives one particular shit what one particular person is saying? I recently wrote about The New York Times reviewer Manohla Dargis who I never agree with. What makes her Best List any better than mine? I am equally opinionated and probably ten times funnier, which gives me a leg up on whose opinion should matter. Humor takes smarts, but I digress. The following films are on many Best Lists and my reasons for why they are not on mine follows:

The Descendants: First of all Hawaiian music is like nails on a chalk board. The score was cringe-worthy at best and George Clooney better not win the Oscar over Leonardo DiCaprio for J. Edgar. George plays George, which is to say that to overcompensate for his dashing-ness, he acts quirky which drives me insane. The movie is OK, but like just about every movie this year… too long.

Tree of Life: I know, heaven forbid I say one bad thing bad about the friggen Holy Grail of movies for 2011. Terrence Malick dragged his ass out of obsurity long enough to make another classic, which is filled with visual references and imagery and bla bla bla on and on and on and on. All I can say is Brad Pitt was great except for that annoying habit he has started of trying to make himself look uglier. He does this thing with his mouth that he did in Moneyball too. You must stop that Brad, please.

Crazy, Stupid, Love: A rental if there ever was one. This was my reaction to the ad campaign that crowded the airwaves at its release. Not sure if I ever will be a Steve Carrell fan, never was for sure. He and Julianne Moore are not a movie match in my mind, but what do I know? Am I alone in thinking that Emma Stone  might just be a tad over-rated as the replacement for Lindsay Lohan? Sure Ryan Gossling yadda yadda, but he has much more important fish to fry and his blatant attempt to fill his pockets by doing this movie is heartwarming at best. By the way, I rented it and could not get through it.

The Artist: Kudos to making this darling wonderful homage to the Silent Era. The movie would have been fantastic if it followed the path of all the silent movies ever made which were NOT THIS LONG. The storyline was one note and had they shaved 25 minutes off, it would definitely be the one to beat this year. But shame on directors these days. Get your head out of your ass where people have to sit, and usually in uncomfortable seats in movie theaters.

Bridesmaids: I loved this movie and laughted out loud a lot. Is it as smart as brilliant comedies of the Golden Age of Hollywood like It Happened One Night, To Be Or Not To Be? No. But OK, I give. It is definitely hilare and gets my approval. But only by the skin of its chinny chin chin.

Movies I loved were Midnight In Paris, Moneyball, War Horse. Are they perfect films? No. Have we even remotely come close to the level of films to that of the 1939 top ten nominees for best film? When donkeys fly.

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