“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Thank goodness the train wreck that is High Society is off the air for now. Sure, like any good Samaritan, I rubber necked through the short season only because it was so shockingly wrong that you couldn’t NOT stop to watch…mouth dropped wide open. The season finale was filled with a lot of sobbing and more blather and utter nonsense than in episodes past. Mainly, a long ass ad campaign for Tinsley Mortimer‘s handbag line for Samantha Thavasa. Missing from the cluster fuck was douche-bag Jules Kirby. The CW Network must have finally edited her out once and for all after they realized just how much of a Gross Baboon she is beyond the N and F words.

To fill the airtime though there was a painfully long scene with Mr. Nelly Himself, Paul Johnson Calderon, and his forever sobbing Twinkie, What’s-His-Name…who shall remain nameless, only because he shall. I mean really girl, sobbing because that fey creature was chit-chatting with the other stars of the show while they were filming? How needy are you Marlene? Paul “No More Tears” Johnson Calderon was working. And because he, too, is a Gross Baboon, of course he ran home with the first drunkard that would go home with him, a porn star, natch, because there were cameras. Duh. Perhaps Marlene, you should have just acted like a good plus one from the get go.

Also, a new character made an appearance, someone named Amanda Leigh Dunn sporting a tragic cockadoodle lesbian haircut. Could this be due to the fact that High Society producers are feverishly trying to cast Courtenay Semel, Hollywood lesbian extraordinaire and past reality show victim, I mean, star. We also got to see a sobbing Devorah Rose, who we find out has some kind of Jewish real name, which stuns the socialites. Like changing your name has never been done? Yoo Hoo…Hollywood. Not sure if it was the changing of the name or the potentially Jewish nature of Deborah Trachtenberg that freaked these schmocials out. Anyhoo…the closing scene was Tinsley Mortimer redeeming herself by sharing quality time with her Mommy and sister, Dabney. And will surely not live happily ever after. Well, not until they are back on air again for sure.