Mel Gibson, Please Divorce Us Too

Mel wired on blow and drunk.

Mel wired on blow and drunk.

Here’s what I love about Mel Gibson, and any other self-righteous celebrity ass like Anita Bryant, Ted Haggard, Jim Bakker, or many Republicans currently in office like Sarah Palin: They know that “the Lord giveth and then taketh away”.

Ted, down on his knees, again.

Ted, down on his knees, again.

SPECIAL NOTE: Did you know that quote comes from what is called the Ejaculatory Prayer? Get where I’m going here? When celebrities lives get all convoluted because of their desperate need to be seen and heard, coupled with their pathetic attempt to spread Godliness like venereal disease, is when they get a good dose of God for themselves. And not in the way they were hoping. Every scandal that involves one of these folks always ends up with them begging for salvation, in public, on television, sobbing. If I were God, I’d leave them at the pearly gates and say, “You took my name in vain, toodles, down you go.”

Anita singing the Ejaculatory Prayer.

Anita singing the Ejaculatory Prayer.

This is why religion should always be a very personal, private matter. Ask any recovering addict, spirituality is an inside job. That’s why God is invisible. If he wanted to be seen and heard, he’d have his own talk-based/reality show running on several channels, like an Oprah meets The Kardashians hybrid. But since he doesn’t, who crowned you “speaker of the faith”? It’s another example of why the fringe Republicans are…well…fringe. No one likes being lectured. I hate to lump these people into this category, but, I would also like to mention those saintly pedophile priests. Or how about that Sunday school teacher that just killed her eight-year-old daughter’s best friend? Or even that priest that stole

85 grand for this? Oy, what a maroon. Hail Mary.

85 grand for this? Oy, what a maroon. Hail Mary.

$85,000 from his parish for a face-lift and drugs. It’s these hypocrites that no one has tolerance for…except maybe God. My point is, whether you are an annoying Christian celebrity, murderer, thief or pedophile, we are all human, and fallible and deserve forgiveness (ish). We all do things we are sorry for, like waking up next to that gross baboon from the bar.

So Mel, Sarah, whoever, go, live your life, commit whatever sins you want, go to confession, repent, say a few Hail Marys, flog yourself, whatever, just please…shut the fuck up.

Tagged:You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Leave a Reply