“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

UPDATE: Ted “The Noodge” Nugent continued his antisemitic meets racist rants by spewing these lovely pearls, “I’m a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally.” What does that even mean? I think what he meant to say was that he is a Nazi, who has a hard-on for the Klu Klux Klan and if he had his druthers, he would happily kill all the Jews and blacks. Unless I am missing something. As you can see above, Gross and Grosser are thick as thieves. Sarah Palin loves her some Noodge. The gun toting Grizzly Mom and the Grosser GunNazi make the perfect evil doer couple, don’t ya think?… Read More »

  Just when you thought Chris Brown could not get any douche-ier, comes word that “she” continues to say the stupidest things on Earth. According to Us Weekly, the 22-year-old has acquired a new pick-up line when it comes to talking to the ladies. The singer reportedly approached an attractive brunette at a Grammy Awards gift lounge on Feb. 10 and asked: ‘Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!’ Chris “The Douche” Brown has graced the pages of IMW for years now. Since whooping Rihanna’s ass to throwing a chair in the window of Good Morning… Read More »

Who’s the biggere douchebag, Ashton Kutcher or Sara Leal?… Read More »

Would you go to Iowa to see Randy Travis perform? Let me sweeten the pie and tell you that he will be the featured performer at Michele Bachmann‘s Straw Poll Hootenanny. Yes, Michele has looped in the skeletor of country music to entice folks to come to her tent, while her husband Marcus offers free personal styling tips—while turning you straight. Team Bachmann also promises to provide barbecue, beverages and an air-conditioned tent where Tea Bagger zealots can relax, hang out and get brainwashed into thinking that Bachmann stands a chance. Talk about getting cluck for your buck. What is… Read More »

You know, between Arnold Schwarzenegger and this French slob, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, I am not sure who deserves the Gross Baboon of the Year Award. Maybe it is a tie. Although this banking douche-bag deserves all the scrutiny and negative publicity he is getting (hey, I love Carla Bruni),  the award goes to Arnold Schwarzenegger. What a gross, wrinkly disgusting, baboon. First of all, I really like Maria Shriver, who did more for the women’s movement over the past few years since becoming the Governator (could you hate an expression more?)’s wife. It is upsetting to know that she knew all… Read More »

I cannot stand Michele Bachmann. She is evil incarnate and crazier than Charlie Sheen.She is the answer to the prayer of crazy toothless zealots that scare the beJesus out of me. She threatens the very freedom that we have enjoyed for years because one thing the Tea Party represents, is a mindset from the 1700s, including a pro-slavery stance. Michele Bachmann was just on Meet The Press, why David Gregory would give that psycho-bitch airtime is beyond me.  Then again, with Christiane Amanpour being all sorts of globally fabulous, it proves that NBC has lost its footing with Gregory and… Read More »

Charlie Sheen is the Grossest Baboon Of The Year…this or any other. UPDATE TO MY UPDATE: Have you seen any of the interviews with Charlie Sheen? His arrogance knows no bounds. He occasionally says funny things, but the joke ultimately is on us, because he gets to stay him, and we get to watch. However this drama ends regarding the CBS Show Two and a Half Men, he will go on to make more millions and prove his arrogance was the right way to be. Besides the cast and crew of TAAHM, who are the biggest losers here, I feel… Read More »

Sarah Palin‘s favorite Beatles song has to be Happiness Is A Warm Gun. This woman is so at home slaughtering animals, imagine how war mongery she would become if given the chance to be President of the United States. She would immediately be all guns blazing in Yemen. Yes, that place is a hot bed for terrorist, and who knows how to deal with those zealots. But surely, two zealots do not make a right. Or is it, two zelots from the right are all wrong? Sarah Palin is a Kim Jong-Il-type waiting to happen. An egomaniac coupled with Tea… Read More »

Who besides me thinks Patti Stanger is an overblown yenteh who has no business advising people on matters of the heart since she herself has failed miserably? The real question is, can you find solace from people who are guilty of, “Do as I say, not as I do”? Once again The New York Times Style Section has a lead story that has nothing to do with style. On the contrary, Patti Stanger, The Millionaire Matchmaker is anything but stylish…rather…she borderlines on tacky. In fact, Ms. Stanger is a recent nominee for I MEAN…WHAT?!? Gross Baboon of the Year. I… Read More »

Surely you are anticipating the I Mean…What?!? Gross Baboon of the Year Award, which will be granted later this year. Yes, move over Razzies, because the Gross Baboons are coming. For you newcomers, the GBOTY Award honors those annoying people that have graced monopolized the media to the point that it makes me say, “I don’t need to see that”. Nominees to date include: Mel Gibson, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods, Jon Gosselin, Joselyn James…get the picture? Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the latest nominees and their new-found togetherness has even created a new category,… Read More »