“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

One thing is getting to Hollywood; the other is staying here. You can’t just stay here in the hopes of becoming a celebrity and take a job at a bank or some other menial office job in the Valley. Heaven forbid. … Read More »

Now that the S & P has downgraded our credit rating, I would like to mention that this is the same organization that approved all the credit swaps and hanky panky that lead to the demise of the Free World as we know it. The Standard & Poor (whose name is apropos) took this position based on our contentious political theater during the debt ceiling debate. This is unprecedented and shocking because those who sit in judgment shall not judge. And if the Lord didn’t actually say that, well, he did now. With the downgrade in place, the Democrats, yes,… Read More »

There are millions of opinions about Fashion’s Night Out and half of them belong to me. My client, the Meatpacking District, was agog with festivities, in the streets, in the stores, the energy was palpable from the second the clock struck 6PM. It was like New Year’s Eve came early…only with shopping. Did you buy something? I did. Everyone that participated in Fashion Lives Downtown did a fantastic job and this new found retail holiday needs to happen every month. Maybe not with such a fervor and expense. But Fashion’s Night Out needs to be monthly. Period. Retailers needs more… Read More »

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of Elizabeth Taylor In Vain When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the Fifteen Commandments, as depicted in Mel Brooks‘ History of the World Part 1, there were five commandments that never saw the light of day. (Watch this short clip to learn about this little known biblical fact in Exodus 20:2–17.) httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5aO7sswvJo Anyhoo, one of those laws as commanded by the Lord himself was: Thou shalt not take the name of Elizabeth Taylor in vain. Sadly, we have become a society not dissimilar to those Israelite hedonists running rampant in the desert,… Read More »

I have been waiting for someone to break the story about the Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller sex scandal for weeks. My source told me all the salacious dish about their drug-induced, hyper-active sexcapades but asked me not to share it with my lovely readers. Well, now that RadarOnline has done so, I am happy to spill what I know. First of all, when the Christmas interlude between the two of them went down, there was something amiss about the whole incident. With twin babies nestled in their beds on Christmas eve, what could have possibly been going on downstairs… Read More »

You know exactly what I am about to talk about: the endless coverage of the White House Party Crashers and Tiger Woods and His Stream of Dancing Ho’s. Unfortunately, these stories are not going anywhere for the next foreseeable future. Yikes, what’s Babba Wawwa (Barbara Walters) to do? Do you think she could quickly grab Tiger Woods or the tragically-desperate-for-fame couple Tareq and Michaele Salahi as her last two entries for 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009? She needs ratings!!! All I know is that The Insider spent a full half-hour on Tiger‘s penis. Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a… Read More »

Angus T. Jones is the original Honey Boo Boo. They have the same mothers.… Read More »

The sad truth is that the social media landscape has become overpopulated with social media climbers. What started out as a perfectly communal idea, well, rating chicks on college campuses, but beyond that, keeping in touch with friends and making new ones, has turned into a massive mass marketing mess. Sprinkle that with a slew of celebrities spewing nonsense, and what is happening is something I call “visual white noise”. Facebook and Twitter are dissolving into one long ad roll. There is no doubt that CBS-TV is hoping that Ashton Kutcher will suck up to his millions of Twitter followers,… Read More »

Charlie Sheen is the Grossest Baboon Of The Year…this or any other. UPDATE TO MY UPDATE: Have you seen any of the interviews with Charlie Sheen? His arrogance knows no bounds. He occasionally says funny things, but the joke ultimately is on us, because he gets to stay him, and we get to watch. However this drama ends regarding the CBS Show Two and a Half Men, he will go on to make more millions and prove his arrogance was the right way to be. Besides the cast and crew of TAAHM, who are the biggest losers here, I feel… Read More »

Let is be said that on March 4th, I wanted to reveal what lead up to Charlie Sheen’s erratic behavior last Christmas. My source told me all the salacious dish about their drug-induced, hyper-active sexcapades but asked me not to share it for fear of Les Moonvees. RadarOnline however, did a piece that eluded to what could have been the final piece of the puzzle that made all the sense in the world as to why Charlie would have beat the beJesus out of Brooke. Come on, didn’t that Christmas interlude between Charlie and Brooke seem a bit excessive? With… Read More »