“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Rumors and reports and innuendo and blather are steaming up the internet about pop sensation, Jessie J and her sexual proclivities. Like I give a clahoon who, what and where she sleeps with… and how. Let me preface this with the fact that some douche bag, Chloe Govan, an otherwise travel writer, wrote a tell-all book about the 24 year-old singer which seems apropos to nothing. In researching this Chloe person I found this lovely kernel, “Whether milking camels in the Middle East or sampling sweet treats at Europe’s biggest chocolate festival, Chloe Govan is always at the heat of… Read More »

UPDATE: Ted “The Noodge” Nugent continued his antisemitic meets racist rants by spewing these lovely pearls, “I’m a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally.” What does that even mean? I think what he meant to say was that he is a Nazi, who has a hard-on for the Klu Klux Klan and if he had his druthers, he would happily kill all the Jews and blacks. Unless I am missing something. As you can see above, Gross and Grosser are thick as thieves. Sarah Palin loves her some Noodge. The gun toting Grizzly Mom and the Grosser GunNazi make the perfect evil doer couple, don’t ya think?… Read More »

Are you like me in that sometimes you don’t feel part of the action? No matter what you do for a living, who you know (celebrities, taste-makers), regardless of how fierce you were in your youth, and now with the face-paced, cluster-f#&k of social media, there is no keeping up with the Joneses. Surely not with the Kardashians. Imagine if you got paid for every time you had sex, washed your face or went to the gym. How did I not get onto that trajectory? Talk about missing the boat. Or in the case of the Kardashians, the yacht.… Read More »

  Just when you thought Chris Brown could not get any douche-ier, comes word that “she” continues to say the stupidest things on Earth. According to Us Weekly, the 22-year-old has acquired a new pick-up line when it comes to talking to the ladies. The singer reportedly approached an attractive brunette at a Grammy Awards gift lounge on Feb. 10 and asked: ‘Can I get your number? I promise I won’t beat you!’ Chris “The Douche” Brown has graced the pages of IMW for years now. Since whooping Rihanna’s ass to throwing a chair in the window of Good Morning… Read More »

You are looking into the face of evil. On the right is the known murderer and sadist Charles Manson. Fortunately he is safely tucked away in a maximum security prison after the string of murders including actress, Sharon Tate. The other guy is James Manson, no relation except for their evil-ness. James Mason went on record to say that Barack Obama and his two daughters should be assassinated. This Tea Bagging Tea Party douche bag actually ran for office and posted on Facebook this lovely rant: “Assassinate the f—– n—– and his monkey children.” So, I ask you, are we… Read More »

As The Stomach Turns… The endless saga of utter blather.… Read More »

I have worked with cool denim brands over the years. Was intimately involved in the launch of the “Baggie Jean” for Sasson, not to mention the iconic “Ooh La La Sasson” campaign in the 70’s. For the past five years have raised the profile of Amsterdam-based G-STAR here in the United States through strategic partnerships and events. This background gives me the right to be in shock and awe after reading that Schnooki, I mean… Snooki is licensing jeans, among 50 or so other categories. Snooki Jeans? Really? First of all Google Snooki – Images and see for yourself, SHE… Read More »

What did I tell you? Three weeks ago, when the Breaking Newzzz of Kim Kardashian‘s unexpected divorce from Kris “The Brick Shit House” Humphries came to light, I predicted that the Kris & Kim divorce will be a major soap opera, which I titled The Days of Kim’s Lives…All Nine of Them. Well, since the dish has started flying, I am changing the name of the soap opera to As The Stomach Turns because this divorce is going to be a doozy. Before the ink is even dry—from the Parker Pen that was pitched to Kim to sign the divorce… Read More »

Tamara Scott says: Gay Marriage Leads To Eiffel Tower Marriage…as in not near it or under it…but TO IT!!! … Read More »

All this grotesque chatter about the Penn State crimes seem to prove that there are more douche bags in this world than I originally thought. And believe me, I thought there were plenty of douche bags up until now. But no one is douche baggier than the guy who thought that not doing anything was the right thing to do. Mike McQueary went running waaa waaa waaa all the way home to his daddy as his best course of action. A daddy that clearly never taught him right from wrong. A daddy that has to deal with his big cry… Read More »