“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

This is a good day for Loredana Jolie, who I crowned Gross Baboon of the Year in regards to her loose lips (get your mind out of the gutter) during the Tiger Woods fiasco. Today I am stripping Loredana of her title and giving it to Hailey Grossman, of Jon Gosselin and drunk-in-a-plant fame. Just to refresh your memories, I crowned Loredana with the title Gross Baboon of the Year when she was flapping her gums about the book she was going to write about the Tiger Woods tryst, and alluding to Tiger’s homosexual activities. Loredana, dear…just because you were… Read More »

So, now I have heard everything…but this ditty takes the cake. My inside source in Albany said that New York Governor David Paterson is embroiled in a controversy that will make you chapp dein kop (hold your head in Yiddish). The New York Times is working on the story, which is said to break momentarily. Apparently, the apple didn’t fall far from the Elliot Spitzer tree and there is a rumor that the Governor used public funds to cop drugs (blow) and hookers (blow). Can you stand it? Blow squared? I would like to think this is not true…but since… Read More »

Nice doo, doll. Say what you want about Jake “Heartthrob” Gyllenhaal, but I think he is beyond vanilla. In this Prince of Persia promo shot, he is more Princess of Persia, with the pouty-lip, deer-caught-in-a-headlights look, which is reminiscent of Loredana Jolie. See what I mean?… Read More »

Beyoncé Heat by trentisthenewpink“> Check out this uber-sexy dress that Beyonce is sporting for her new fragrance, Heat. And heat there is. JWOW heat, if you ask me. Is there any difference between these two items of clothing? NO! The JWOW Blouse is beyond. I am not clear if she designed it or is just selling it on her website…but I say to you…run…now…click on her site. I love that she calls this one item her clothing line. You just have to love her for that. Because, really…what else do you need in your wardrobe besides a half-yard of a… Read More »

Celebrity / Socialite / Rachel Uchitel? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Check out this birthday invitation for the hooker / hag / collagen-filled / tranny-like thing that Tiger Woods used to date. She calls herself a celebrity / socialite. In what circles? My source told me that Rachel was Tiger’s blow-up doll. She was completely on call every time he got a boner and that he exhausted every one of her orifices. Like a hooker. Once on a trip, she kept calling my friend, between boners, in an attempt to get up for air. But as the story goes his sexual… Read More »

Yes, there is a definite shift in the air since Spring, when nelly, prissy, fembots ruled the men’s runways. There is a butcher tone overall, but Lord knows not exclusively, as that would render me out of business. Surprisingly, Junya Wantanabe, Viktor and Rolf, and even Gaspard Yurkievich all had smart showings. It’s not like I am disappointed that I can’t find what to poke fun at, I would frankly rather not have ever started this Manzie business. I am a bit Pollyanna in that I want every designer to do well. Rather than leave a hole for yet another… Read More »

Somebody stick a fork in me to see if I am totally cooked. The Story of the Week in Women’s Wear Daily is Fashion Video Games Target Female Customers. How depressing is that? The big news, in addition to the fact that it’s bad news from my vantage point, is that Project Runway is doing a video game. Yes, now you too can have hours of fun booting people out of the house, designing nonsense, and hearing Hedi Klum say “auf wiedersehen” from the comfort of your couch…all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I love Heidi and the TV… Read More »

Let it be said that I called the Sarah Palin getting a Fox News deal early this summer. I wrote: “You can ask my sister Vivian, as we were watching the freakishly neurotic and overly audible Sarah Palin resignation speech on CNN, though we were shocked that they broke away from the Michael Jackson Minutia Report, that I immediately turned to her and quoted Deep Throat and said, “Follow the money”. Sarah Palin, the smart but insane sexist windbag, will write her book, which will read like a diary from an eight grader, do a massive book tour throughout the… Read More »

I have been posting the Last Five Minutes of Fame for several months and Tila Tequila never made it because prior to my starting I Mean…What?!? in February ’09, Tila’s 15 minutes had pretty much been up. Well, the saddest reason has brought Tila back into the limelight and someone needs to keep her down. Lord knows this is her potential comeback. Maybe she and Loredana can collaborate on a book or better yet, a trashy reality show with hookers and bisexuals and needy bitches. What could we call it…hmmmmm…The Real Low Lives of Las Vegas. Oh Bravo…where are you?… Read More »

My head is spinning from the announcement of Bristol Palin’s new public relations firm that has launched called BSMP LLC. Since you asked, that stands for Bristol Sharon Marie Palin Lascivious Lame Crapola. Bristol has become the spokes-model for Candie’s Foundation against teenage pregnancy and abstinence, not that she would know anything about any of that. But besides the point, what next step is there for the teenage mother, really? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Palin compound (nee house) as they sat around trying to figure out next steps in world domination on the heels… Read More »