“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

One would have to be living under a rock not to know that I have taken issue with The New York Times Style section as of late. I have accused it of being not style conscious enough, behind the trend curve in its reporting, not fierce, old news, and under fabulous. And today is not any different. There are two stories that bugged me to no end starting with the lead article about “marijuana”.… Read More »

I Mean…What?!? presents the Paris Couture Shows. Lord knows I got the Manzie Report down…and two snaps up. However, man does not live by bad men’s fashion alone. Granted, it won’t be as knee-slapping as the Manzie Report due to the nature of this beast. But beasts there are, I can assure you. Now before I show you some highlights or “high”-lights from Alexis Mabille and Stéphane Rolland, I need to say something here. Couture is a unique business that services much of the hype and interest in the fashion industry. The couture customer is not the customer that buys… Read More »

Reading about the new Monkey Bar and the obsession that Graydon Carter has regarding who sits where kind of gives me the willies. I don’t know why. Part of me would like to think that he’s busy editing Vanity Fair, the magazine I look forward to reading each month, though I will say it has been lackluster as of late. Could there be some kind of correlation? This month, with everyone’s hero Johnny Depp on the cover, the magazine is so thin, it’s like one of those glossy handouts in the Hamptons. And lo and behold, there’s a story about… Read More »

Just about everyone on Earth has been affected by Michael Jackson…somehow. Whether it’s your fondest musical memories, your endless, desperate, unsuccessful attempts to do the “moonwalk”, singing songs from Thriller in the shower to test your vocal chops or dancing in the mirror, alone in your room, grabbing your crotch. Michael Jackson is there, in your system, in your heart, and surely everywhere in the pop culture vernacular. We all adored him until we began to despise him. Reading all the reports, headlines, glowing life stories, endless news coverage of the late, great King of Pop, I could not help… Read More »

You can call me a lot of things, but a prude is not one of them. Though this week, having had an earful of utter nonsense regarding these middle-aged, Republican men and their illicit sex romps, I may come off a bit puritanical. Excuse me for acting all Queen Victoria, but I do not need to have the visuals of Mark Sanford, Silvio Berlusconi or John Ensign…naked with some hooker…dancing in my head. And with the amount of attention to these guys have received, it’s there, stuck in my head, and I need to get them out. All the Manzie’s… Read More »

What is The I Mean…What?! Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News, you ask? What else,  a recap of this week’s “not really” news as told through images. You can also call it, the Hodge Podge Lodge News and for the sake of levity and brevity, the “This Is News News?” So, without any further ado and no particular order of relevance or irrelevance:… Read More »

This week, it seems like living in Tehran would be a bit more interesting than in New York City. As an ex-hippie leftover, who took to the streets for any cause back in the 1970’s, clad in frayed Landlubber, orange-stitched, bell-bottom jeans, tie-dyed T-shirts and Nehru jackets, we were strong, we were invincible, we were…well…you know how the song goes. The backlash against Mamoud Ahmadinejad has struck a chord deep in the hearts and minds of the Iranian people, many within the youth culture and somehow, I had a pang of jealousy, because they were…out in force…in the streets…screaming for… Read More »

Last week I suggested a new reality show, Real Housewives of the Republican Party, which would surely have been a jagoonza hit. Come to find out, that my idea was already in the air, as they are currently casting for Real Housewives of Washington DC. But, knowing that lame Bravo format, they will just cast bunch of pretentious wanna-bees, like they do in every other city, and the train wreck that will ensue, will just be like watching every other episode, insert city here…truly not that riveting. My show, however, would have been far more interesting and current. Since I… Read More »

What a weird day for news. An octogenarian storms the Holocaust Museum? What is this man’s fitness and diet regiment and get me on it right now. That this guy, who most probably had arthritis could be so swift as to outmaneuver a security guard, lift a rifle and boom? I mean…what?!? This tragedy struck a chord deep within me as my mother was a Holocaust survivor. If anyone had the right to be a hater, it was her and her friends that  survived the concentration camps. Not some old, gross, goat who survived St. Louis, Missouri. In fact, hate… Read More »

Policy shmolicy. Who wants to join a group that doesn’t let you be who you are and cultivate the best in you? Gays want to be in the military? For what? The clothes? I am confused. Are you trying to tell me that grunting along some dusty patch of Middle Eastern soil is what you really want to go for? What about shopping on Madison? Or happy hours in Chelsea (NYC). The term “gay” kicked in the 1960’s and since then, the reference to homosexuality has shifted to a light, frothy, sexy lifestyle filled with booze, drugs and dancing. No?… Read More »