“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Some days there are a slew of silly stories that are worth commenting on. This is one of those days. There is no real theme, no rhyme, no reason. Well, surely there is no reason for these people to be in the news, but since they are, hello fodder. NEWSFLASH!!! Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin have become friends since the ‘I hate gays (except my mother) speech’. Birds of a feather. NEWSFLASH!!!  Carrie Prejean confesses to sex tape on Sean Hannity’s FOX-TV News Show: “It was the biggest mistake of my life-ish.” To read past installments of The Nobody News,… Read More »

As I perused all the headlines and sidelines of  today’s “news” websites, I am amazed at the items that make the grade. It is an ongoing inner battle for whether I want to know things about celebrities, but really not want to know…as in TMI (too much information) or WC (who cares) or my fave new acronym IMW (I mean what). We will never go back to a gentler time if the headlines are filled with celebrity minutia, as in the case of these news stories…which frankly, are so uninteresting…that I am sleeping while writing.… Read More »

The headlines in the newspapers these days are scarier than the first edition of Halloween with Jamie Lee Curtis. With the kooks around the country coming out in droves to air their crazy anti-Obama madness, I’m almost afraid to leave my house for fear of some right-wing zealot on the attack with a loaded gun. And New Yorkers, listen up. Don’t think just because you are in New York City that you are any safer from that crowd. Once Rudy Giuliani turned this city into Disneyland and all the horrendous corporate types came swarming in, plenty of conservative kooks must… Read More »

My usual routine is to brew a pot of coffee, read the headlines online and determine what’s my story of the day…then start writing. Somehow nothing struck my fancy. Sure, there is the health care issue (debacle) that is exploding in our faces. The fact that right wing fringe lunatics are leading the charge and changing the dynamic of getting universal health care is heartbreaking. But not shocking. And that Sarah Palin still gets this much airtime? Well, it’s all just wrong. In an effort to shake the Glenn Becks out of my head, I perused the gossip websites only… Read More »

So, there you have it. Levi and I have both now gone on record to say that Sarah Palin resigned her post as Governor, due to financial reasons. All these bloviators and regular folks too, I might add, who said with conviction that she will go for the 2012 presidential run are out to lunch. I wasn’t kidding when I quoted Deep Throat, “Follow the money”. And now, it’s official, since Levi Johnston said so. Levi and I…blood brothers…fraternal twins…life partners. Naturally, the Huffington Post did not post my story from last week. No, only Levi’s pearl of wisdom get… Read More »

What is The I Mean…What?! Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News, you ask? What else,  a recap of this week’s “not really” news as told through images. You can also call it, the Hodge Podge Lodge News and for the sake of levity and brevity, the “This Is News News?” So, without any further ado and no particular order of relevance or irrelevance:… Read More »

OMG…I have come up with the most brilliant new TV show on Earth! The Real Housewives of The Republican Party. Come on. Admit it. It’s geniositude. Talk about watching a train wreck. This friggen show has more potential viewership than American Idol. Heck, Fox News would run streaming video all day of these Housewives’ shenanigans. I am obsessed with this idea. And if some fledgling cable network steals this show idea, let it be stated for the record, that on this day, June 12, 2009, I MEAN…WHAT?!? claimed a show which features political housewives wives. See you at the Emmy… Read More »

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes… Read More »

Watching Prince Harry gallivant around New York City smiling, shaking hands, planting trees, honoring the fallen at the World Trade Center had such an unexpected impact on me. Granted, he is beyond adorable…but not only because of that. There was something magical about him. I was deeply effected by Princess Diana’s death and seeing him being so magnanimous touched me in a gentle, yet profound way, as did the circumstances around her untimely, unnecessary death. Boy, would she be proud. Then I got to thinking about who do we in America have that exudes that royal air. Since our Kennedy-Camelot… Read More »

There are certain people that are permeating the airwaves that make me say more than I MEAN…WHAT?!? They are a combination of all-wrong, void of social consciousness, and truly annoying. I pray for them to fade into the sunset (’cause I am so spiritual), but that doesn’t seem to help. Someone needs to put them out of their media-blaring misery. So, I’ve started the I MEAN…WHAT?!? Hit List. No, I do not wish them death…rather…complete and everlasting obscurity. Ohmmmmm.… Read More »