“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Come 2012, if Sarah Palin has her druthers, the White House will once again be just that, white. But not just white, we’re talkin’ really, really white. Alaska snow white. Pre-Lyndon B. Johnson Civil Rights Movement white. Her first day in office she will make some cockadoodle proclamation, “We need a woman in the White House to clean up the mess of that last administration.” Can’t you just hear it now? The irony will be that a white woman is cleaning up after black people. I wonder if she will do windows. The new First Family will be very innovative.… Read More »

Witches and warlocks have been the focus of this last election cycle. But it really all started with that Witchy Woman, Sarah Palin and her daughter Bristol. Come on…don’t you think they have America under their spell? Let’s face it, Christine O’Donnell rounds out the Three Witches from Shakespeare’s Macbeth and you can just see them together in a room, complete with cauldron, plotting. “Double, double, toil and trouble.” Say what you want, but for Bristol Palin to still be on Dancing With The Stars, all clutsy and annoying, there has to be some truth here. When Sarah showed up… Read More »

Now that’s a coupling made in heaven. One desperate, unwed, teen mother, Bristol Palin, who uses the media to compete with her skanky ex-baby daddy, Levi Johnston, coupled with The Situation, a Staten Island goombah who is the most talked about character second to Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Coupling? Yes…because they will both be on Dancing With The Stars. Well, they won’t be dancing with each other…but trust me…we will see plenty of paparazzi shots of those two leaving the DWTS studio. So, what ever happened to Bristol Palin’s public relations business? Guess she decided to become her own… Read More »

Surely you are anticipating the I Mean…What?!? Gross Baboon of the Year Award, which will be granted later this year. Yes, move over Razzies, because the Gross Baboons are coming. For you newcomers, the GBOTY Award honors those annoying people that have graced monopolized the media to the point that it makes me say, “I don’t need to see that”. Nominees to date include: Mel Gibson, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods, Jon Gosselin, Joselyn James…get the picture? Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are the latest nominees and their new-found togetherness has even created a new category,… Read More »

My head is spinning from the announcement of Bristol Palin’s new public relations firm that has launched called BSMP LLC. Since you asked, that stands for Bristol Sharon Marie Palin Lascivious Lame Crapola. Bristol has become the spokes-model for Candie’s Foundation against teenage pregnancy and abstinence, not that she would know anything about any of that. But besides the point, what next step is there for the teenage mother, really? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Palin compound (nee house) as they sat around trying to figure out next steps in world domination on the heels… Read More »

Nothing is more infuriating than NBC’s desperate attempt to compete with ABC’s Good Morning America as the ratings war heats up. Katie Couric will be the co-host on GMA on Tuesday (tomorrow) morning since she is under contract with an upcoming talk show. To battle that move, Today Show booked Sarah Palin to go up against her as their co-host with Matt Lauer. Since Ann Curry has been at the helm, the reviews for Today Show could not be worse. NBC must have freaked out when they heard that Katie Couric was on board for hosting duties. But of all… Read More »

If anyone needs to hire ID-PR, Slate or 42 West, it is Michele Bachmann. Say what you want about those pushy celebrity publicists, but you will NEVER see a cover shot of Jake Gyllenhaal looking like he is tweaking, or Jennifer Aniston looking like she is plugged into a socket. Granted, celebrity publicists have gotten a “not great” reputation as being bitchy and annoying, but they do their job, and usually very well. There are plenty of not-interesting talent that celebrity publicists get tons of coverage on. I won’t get into it now (January Jones) so I can stay on… Read More »

Now that the S & P has downgraded our credit rating, I would like to mention that this is the same organization that approved all the credit swaps and hanky panky that lead to the demise of the Free World as we know it. The Standard & Poor (whose name is apropos) took this position based on our contentious political theater during the debt ceiling debate. This is unprecedented and shocking because those who sit in judgment shall not judge. And if the Lord didn’t actually say that, well, he did now. With the downgrade in place, the Democrats, yes,… Read More »

The tide has turned for Sarah Palin. I recently said, “I don’t care how often Sarah Palin appears on Fox News, nor how disdainfully she speaks of our President while giving kudos to Donald “Orange” Trump for being the Birther-in-Chief, the fact remains that the wind is out of her sail and I couldn’t be happier. Michele Bachmann has stolen her thunder and she must be freaking out.” Boy, what a difference a weekend makes. That One Nation Tour Bus is kicking Michele and every Republican hopeful in the pants. Imagine the ego bloat that those two reality stars, Sarah… Read More »

Where is the outrage? We all know by now how horrendous the Tea Party is with all their racist Tea Bagging shenanigans. But now, things are really spiraling out of control. Where in hell is this Marilyn Davenport, the Orange County Republican Central Committee slash Tea Partyer woman who sent out a mass email depicting Barack Obama as a chimpanzee? What infuriates me is that every news outlet posted the offensive, inappropriate image but no one has posted a picture of the culprit, Marilyn Davenport. We at I Mean..What?!? refused to post that image as we consider ourselves somewhat tactful… Read More »