“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Would you go to Iowa to see Randy Travis perform? Let me sweeten the pie and tell you that he will be the featured performer at Michele Bachmann‘s Straw Poll Hootenanny. Yes, Michele has looped in the skeletor of country music to entice folks to come to her tent, while her husband Marcus offers free personal styling tips—while turning you straight. Team Bachmann also promises to provide barbecue, beverages and an air-conditioned tent where Tea Bagger zealots can relax, hang out and get brainwashed into thinking that Bachmann stands a chance. Talk about getting cluck for your buck. What is… Read More »

Talk of Adolf Hitler rages on, between the recent John Galliano flap nightmare, coupled with the resurfaced, vintage footage of Francoise Dior, Christian’s lovely Nazi niece, chatting about how much she loves Hitler, too. My idea for an I Love Hitler T-shirt is not such a bad idea. Well, think of the press it would get. But I digress. The above picture is Eva ‘I Love Hitler’ Braun, pictured in black face, inspired by her favorite film The Jazz Singer, starring Al Jolson, the Jew. What is wrong with this picture? Besides everything. It is like the N-word in a… Read More »

And they’re off. The shock jocks, blabber mouths and horses ass’s mouths are running out of the gate. For one solitary day, after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and the senseless massacre of innocent people, we had a moment, before the staged silence, that felt as though this horrendous event might impact the bloviators who spew hateful rhetoric. It was on Sunday, and I was hoping that all the God-fearing Christians would see this as a sign and shift their evil-doing ways. That they might, perhaps, even be more Christian. One day. That is all we got. Because if you… Read More »

Let’s compare the daughters of the royal families of our two political parties. The Democrats have The Clintons while the Republicans are stuck with The Palins. In this corner we have Chelsea Clinton who is educated and sophisticated and over there is Bristol Palin, a loose-lipped (and otherwise), press whore. This summer, talk of matrimony was at the center of every dinner table conversation in both homes…each with different tones. I MEAN…WHAT?!? thought it would be fun to eavesdrop on both families. INT. CLINTON DINING ROOM – EVENING HILLARY: That Marc is such a sweet boy. CHELSEA: I know, I… Read More »

OMG…I have come up with the most brilliant new TV show on Earth! The Real Housewives of The Republican Party. Come on. Admit it. It’s geniositude. Talk about watching a train wreck. This friggen show has more potential viewership than American Idol. Heck, Fox News would run streaming video all day of these Housewives’ shenanigans. I am obsessed with this idea. And if some fledgling cable network steals this show idea, let it be stated for the record, that on this day, June 12, 2009, I MEAN…WHAT?!? claimed a show which features political housewives wives. See you at the Emmy… Read More »