“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Poor Demi. She was just rushed off to the hospital for doing too much blow, reminiscent of her character on St. Elmo’s Fire. Last November I wrote a piece on Cougar Fatigue. Maybe this recent blow situation is a residual effect of that phenomenon and rather than really having done actual blow, she realizes that, “My life blows.” Poor Heather Locklear who was also rushed to the hospital for a drug related overdose. So what exactly is in the warm smoggy air? Clearly the wind blows. Ashton Kutcher and Jack Wagner may need to start their 12 Step Program: Celebrity… Read More »

I have little to say about the Paula Dean Blubbergate situation. After all, who doesn’t love a deep-fried butter and bacon sandwich and a with a tiramisu-milkshake-made-with-3-scoops-of-fried-ice-cream chaser? What is annoying is her phony admonition on The Today Show when she said to Al “Friend of the Fried” Roker, “I’ve always encouraged moderation. People see me cooking all these wonderful, Southern, fattening recipes … it’s for entertainment. People have to be responsible.” Really Paula? You said that on your show? Or are you just a big, fat liar? The word moderation has not left your lips since you were told… Read More »

OK, so you wake up at the crack of dawn to this site and tell me you want to write some pithy little commentary about a Republican or a Kardashian or anything that has nothing to do with waking up in a jungly beachfront situation. I’ll be in Tulum for the next 8 days with kind of internet access and the inability to text. Wishing all of you equal parts fabulousness in every moment of your lives. So until the Iowa primary…see ya in drips and drabs.… Read More »

As the continuing saga of Kris & Kim continues to veer off the course of respectability, the dishy new headline is, Kim Claims That Kris Is Gay in Star magazine, that bastion of truth. The name for this episode is As The Stomach Turns, Episode 4, Say What, Miss Thing?… Read More »

UPDATE TO THAT UPDATE: Merv Griffin Productions has commit to Courtney Stodden to produce her reality show, Skank and Grampa (working title). The realness is getting realer than real, but really? Who is going to watch this nonsense? They have not locked in a network yet. Have they tried the Playboy Channel? Other classic television shows on Playboy TV are Brooklyn Kinda Love and The Stash. UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Guess who is getting a reality show? Umm….give up? You got that right. The May-September romance of these two self-involved looney tunes will birth a new reality series following these… Read More »

No one really celebrates Labor Day. Sure, we take off that Monday, but since Labor Day represents the end of summer and the return to school, who is celebrating? Mourning is more like it. Since kindergarten, the “End of Summer Stomach Ache” began on the Sunday afternoon before Labor Day. Though I am generations away from school age, this year I am sick to my stomach a few hours earlier than usual. Between the economic news and the political climate, I am nauseous from what I see and hear. According to Wikipedia: Labor Day became a federal holiday in 1894,… Read More »

  Politicians are like an “IT” bag, and each season, there is a new “must-have”. This Presidential season is going to be the Chanel of wind bags. You find me one candidate for President of the United States, present company and President included, that is not prone to hypocrisy, and I will pay you money. Seriously, this is a one time offer, as I am not a betting man. No one on Earth can present the case for a candidate who does not talk out of both sides of their mouth and other orifices, in order to please the masses.… Read More »

Last week, I saw The Help at a packed screening in New York. The excitement around the release of this film has been palpable. Whenever a hugely popular book is made into a film, we all know what’s coming next, but that does not stop our hopes that this time the studio won’t fuck it up. Every twenty years or so a big budget studio film about poor black folks hits the big screen and there is incredible white support for these stories. It is a far different situation than the Tyler Perry genre. The African-American film going community supports… Read More »

If anyone needs to hire ID-PR, Slate or 42 West, it is Michele Bachmann. Say what you want about those pushy celebrity publicists, but you will NEVER see a cover shot of Jake Gyllenhaal looking like he is tweaking, or Jennifer Aniston looking like she is plugged into a socket. Granted, celebrity publicists have gotten a “not great” reputation as being bitchy and annoying, but they do their job, and usually very well. There are plenty of not-interesting talent that celebrity publicists get tons of coverage on. I won’t get into it now (January Jones) so I can stay on… Read More »

Throughout all this talk of the debt ceiling, the Republicans are now officially beginning to look like cartoon characters. The release of The Smurfs movie frames this debate in a very insightful way. Will these weirdly colored creatures survive their situations? Oh, I am talking about the orange folks in the Republican party, lead by John Boehner. He and Donald Trump are like the Tom & Jerry of orange blabbermouths. Nothing would be more genius than if John Boehner started crying over this process, caught on tape. The tension must be so thick in his chamber, that you can cut… Read More »