“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

  LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME is a novel novel by Abe Gurko, who stupidly believed Andy Warhol’s edict, “In the future everyone was going to be famous for fifteen minutes.” “It was 1973; I was short, fat, and four-eyed with no immediate hopes of having a life worth living. By no means was I a candidate for becoming a jet setter, and no foreseeable signs of hobnobbing with the lanky Mick Jagger, the groovy Penelope Tree or the beautiful, haunted Marianne Faithfull. Nope. Not from the barely upper middle class upbringing I was experiencing far from that madding crowd. Somehow the… Read More »

Donald Trump* won’t discuss his failures like Trump University. What lying sack of shit would engage in an ongoing scam they’re embroiled in? I found a long, lost draft of one of my old Op-Ed pieces dated August 2013 about @realDonald Trump.  The content is so relevant to what is currently going on with his lame, reality show version of a political campaign that I wanted to share it with you as my first Op-Ed piece of 2016. FOUND DRAFT: ORANGE IS TRYING TO BE THE NEW BLACK- 8/24/13 – Midnight Rather than be frustrated by the fact that since my bicycle accident that’s put me out of commission, Kim… Read More »

Here’s the thing about going through your third midlife crisis: If you are going to do it, do it while living at the home of Carrie Fisher. On the eve of my scheduled return from Los Angeles to New York—which I had escaped in January in order to: A) Completely avoid the winter weather, and B) Deal with Midlife Crisis #3—I paid a visit to Carrie. As always, I was met with a warm greeting, and we sat on the bed chatting, catching up, and catching fire. The rumors had just begun to swirl about the original Star Wars “Dream… Read More »

Oh, the places you’ll go! – Dr. Seuss… Read More »

Two years ago, the tuxedo started going through a metamorphosis. Solid black was sooo over whereas florals and vibrant colors were becoming the new black in men’s evening wear. Guess who they were inspired by? Moi! For Spring 2014, Tom Ford continues serving up untraditional, elegant formal attire such as this lovely floral printed tux (above). Below is my blog post from August 19, 2011 that references this chic, new look that also, when you scroll down will see that I started this whole trend eons ago…at my Bar Mitzvah. This is simply unfair. Two of the world’s most acclaimed… Read More »

If you forced me to pick one, I’d say Khloe Kardashian is my favorite Kardashian. I liked her in Celebrity Apprentice and she clearly is the most independent of the brood. When I set out to do the parody As The Kardashian Turns, it was not because I dislike the Kardashians. Frankly, I have only seen Keeping Up With The Kardashians a few times. But enough to know that a parody was a must. Anyhoo, TMZ last week posted a before and after picture of Khloe and I wanted to share the before and after of Mackenzie John Miller who… Read More »

Once you’ve sampled this guilty pleasure it will be difficult to return to the “real” thing without thinking of As The Kardashians Turn.… Read More »

When asked what charity Juliette Lewis would like to highlight on the new, improved I Mean What, Musicares was top of mind. … Read More »

MARIANNE FAITHFULL: I have had this recurring dream that I am in a dark wooded forest with dripping trees and I am walking up a hill, like I am going into battle. I am a foot soldier walking in the midst of this scene.
ABE GURKO: What are you wearing?… Read More »

Guess who?… Read More »