“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

There are stories swirling via the internet, Twitter, Hot Topics, bla bla bla, and yes here too. But not because, “Oooh…this story is amazing dish”. Rather, because it is shocking that people give a hoot about the following stories. Starting with The Bachelor. Anyone that couldn’t see through that ridiculous shit-eating grin of Jake Pavelka‘s is insane. His “poor me”, starry-eyed, Joker-face complete with crocodile tears was cringe-worthy. And when he chose that skank Vienna Girardi, well, at that point who cared what happened to either of them. And to find out they split up? Gee…now there’s an unexpected twist.… Read More »

There is a huge firestorm brewing over the casting choice for the upcoming movie, Cleopatra: A Life. The role is going to Angelina Jolie…duh…best choice on Earth. Sure beats her taking on the role of Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz remake, that’s for sure. So now we are embroiled in a politically correct hub-bub by Essence magazine contributing writer, Shirea Carroll. She by Shirea is up in arms that the role of Cleopatra is going, yet again, to a white actress, in the tradition of Elizabeth Taylor, Claudette Colbert and Vivien Leigh. Ms. Carroll had… Read More »

My friend Merle Ginsberg (Editor-in-Cheif, fashionrules.com), whom I have known since her W magazine days…when W meant something…is currently in Israel covering the fashion scene, doing a few speaking engagements and ogling the hot Israeli men, no doubt. I have been to Israel several times, and my sister and I could not stop plotzing when we would see clumps of hot, young Israeli guys dressed in army fatigues. It was like a Bruce Weber wet dream. Anyway…back to Merle who has great style, humor and extensive reference. It’s kind of what I like about me too…but whatever. Here are snippets… Read More »

Angelina Jolie is rumored to play the Wicked Witch of the West?!? Say it ain’t so. Don’t get me wrong, I love Angelina Jolie. I love her enough to tell her not to do this, as it is NOT the role of a lifetime. Gia was that for her. Forget about Angelina Jolie for a minute and let’s just discuss why anyone in Hollywood thinks they have what it takes to take on the challenge of remaking The Wizard of Oz. And please don’t tell me that Tim Burton wants to do it. Though he is brilliant and everything, his… Read More »

After that final episode of Jersey Shore, watching Snooki dance alone on the boardwalk, having been rejected by that “white guy”, then snooking up to The Situation in the hot tub and totally losing all self-respect, who wouldn’t want to see the Snooks get her day in the sun with a man that is all about her? Well, I am happy to report that she has met a guy, no less a Guido, Emilio Antonio and that she is happy as a pig in shit…or something like that. “He is freaking banging. We’re the sexiest couple I have ever seen… Read More »

At the Grammy Awards, some queen from E! Entertainment reported that Brad and Angelina were not separated. Well, did he read I Mean…What?!? My source said days ago that there was NO TRUTH to the rumor about a pending split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I was told by the insider that while in New York City filming the retakes of Salt, the two were lovey-dovey and there were no signs of martial woes. Perhaps we can just chalk this whole media frenzy up to another case of Brangelina Envy?… Read More »

Oh man. Will the celebrity-turned-designer cycle ever stop? Or at least slow down? Everyday this week, Women’s Wear Daily has reported YET another celebrity-designer collaboration, which is beginning to make my skin crawl. Must every actress try her hand at designing (and I use that term loosely here) a capsule collection? The only capsule I am interested is one that can be washed down with fluids and alter my reality. But the new reality world of celebrity designers is like living in Bizarro World. We now have Sarah Jessica Parker heading up the Halston legacy (click link for yesterday’s IMW… Read More »

St. John, is that brand of women’s clothing that for years used Kelly Gray, the daughter of the company’s owners (nepotism much?) in their advertising. One day, they finally realized that Kelly was a total yikes for the brand, so they hired Angelina Jolie in an effort to reposition the brand…which worked-ish. Now, the big news is that St. John has bagged Angelina Jolie and replaced her with Karen Elson. See below. “We wanted to make a clean break from actresses and steer away from blonds and cleanse the palette,” said CEO Glenn McMahon. So I guess Karen Elson, iconic… Read More »

For weeks, I have been begging the media to let dead Tigers lay…as in the case of Tiger Woods and his many whores. But as time marches on, we are still accosted by claims from these cheap hussies, case in point and the winner of Gross Baboon of the Year, Loredana Jolie…no relation to Angelina…who must be plotzing as far as possible Google affiliations go. Seriously though, I am so not interested in Tiger Wood’s penis and now I need to know even more about it? And this hooker Loredana needs to try her hand at writing a book?!? What… Read More »

Well, I thought this would as good a time as any to let y’all get to know a bit about my likes and dislikes. Since clearly, you are fully aware of the latter, today I am going to share some of my favorite things. Today’s category are favorite men and women, dead and alive. It’s a collection of collagenous people, each that have impacted me in a most memorable way. If any of these are on your short list, let me know. Before I give you my short list, I must start by giving props to my sisters Vivian and… Read More »