“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The Kardashians have killed off the Jones’ because now we don’t give a shit about keeping up with them anymore because now it is all about Keeping Up With The Kardashians… Read More »

Here’s the thing about going through your third midlife crisis: If you are going to do it, do it while living at the home of Carrie Fisher. On the eve of my scheduled return from Los Angeles to New York—which I had escaped in January in order to: A) Completely avoid the winter weather, and B) Deal with Midlife Crisis #3—I paid a visit to Carrie. As always, I was met with a warm greeting, and we sat on the bed chatting, catching up, and catching fire. The rumors had just begun to swirl about the original Star Wars “Dream… Read More »

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »

One does not have to go see Green Lantern in order to see that it is a big, waste of time, unless you are 6 years old and like things that light up. That said, if you are 6 years old, chances are you love animals too, so Jim Carrey’s Mr. Popper’s Penquins will probably win the box office in the end. Well, maybe not this weekend, because hype goes a long way in Hollywood. Speaking of which, when will Hollywood ever learn that not everything needs to be made into a big, loud, CGI romp. And just because Avatar… Read More »

Jean Harlow has been the Star of the Month on my favorite television channel TCM. I have been a long-time fan of Dinner At Eight, which put the actress over the top in the Golden Age of Hollywood. Watching these Harlow films has been a visual delight, between the sets and the gowns by Adrain, but besides that, it is the first time that I got to see how amazing Jean Harlow was as an actress. Granted, the penciled in eyebrows are somewhat distracting or disturbing even, but MGM was keen on shaving off eye brows in order to re-frame… Read More »

The Daily Beast features the Best of Jersey TV today. Sure, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Jerseylicious, are fan favorites, but what do these annoying people do to represent the many other Jersey residents that are not Guidos and Guidettes? Let me tell you first hand….NOTHING. Rather than focus on the wonderful people who hail from New Jersey like Meryl Streep, Count Basie and Bruce Springsteen, we are now hyper focused on the Goombas like Snooki, Teresa Guidice and The Situation. A permanent blemish has scarred the Garden State. We can identify the turning point when… Read More »

Announcing the newest candidates for Gross Baboon of the Year Award, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa and Joe Guidice. Reading about their spendaholic, bankruptcy-inducing shenanigans made me really angry. As someone born in that fair state, the recent bevvy of Gross Baboons with New Jersey blazoned on their foreheads is enough to make anyone lie about where they hail from. We now have The Real Housewives, that lame show Jeseylicious, and even the cast of Jersey Shore, though none of them are from there, but MTV has managed to muck it up anyway. Until recently, it was Woody Allen… Read More »

Can you name the Bette Davis movie where she says, “What a dump” before I count to ten? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. You got it? OK, you win. The first three people to email me the correct answer to abe@imeanwhat.com will receive an I MEAN WHAT?!? trucker hat. Anyhoo, I am way off on a tangent. I went house hunting on Sunday in Los Angeles with a friend who is ready to plunk down $1.5 million dollars on a house. OK…to some, it’s like nothing. But to many, it’s plenty. We saw some lovely, lovely homes. A cool, four bedroom beauty, with original… Read More »

Remember when the Oscars meant something? Families would gather round their one television set, snacks piled high. It was the signature event of the movie industry, when actors still held a mystique because they were so inaccessible. Their lifestyles were imagined rather than paraded for the media, only few would speak out in support of injustices or charitable causes and we were kept at arms length from knowing too much what went on behind closed doors. Boy has that all changed. Now, we know so much about everyone that is nominated for each award, that by the time the Oscar… Read More »

“To err is human; to forgive is divine” – Alexander Pope. The funny thing about our hypocritical society is that we are so quick to judge and so reluctant to forgive. The United States was created by a bunch of uptight religious zealots, Puritans, and their values are still immersed in our culture. No matter how modern we get, like Tiger(s), we do not change our stripes. As much as I am trying to ignore the Tiger Woods saga, it is impossible for me not to chime in every once in a while, especially when I see the Puritans having… Read More »