“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

  Last night’s Correspondence Dinner in Washington DC featured many hilarious swipes at Donald Trump who sat in the audience. After cleaning off the dozen or so eggs off his face as a result of Obama’s real birth certificate surfacing, The Orange Donald sat in the audience and was brunt of endless jokes. If you have some time. Watch this video. Seth Myers is hilarious. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YGITlxfT6s… Read More »

Remember Joey Lawrence from Blossom? Yes, he was a cutie but now, look at him. Dyed black hair with shoe polish and clearly desperate for a paying gig. Joey, (out of obscurity), came to the defense of  Donald “Orange” Trump about how right he is about stuff. Well, clearly, the Celebrity Apprentice has been renewed for 3 seasons, and Donald Trump is NOT going to run for President and Joey Lawrence will be in the next season’s line-up. If I am wrong, sue me, but wanna bet?… Read More »

There are certain things that I do not need to know, like who designed Kate Walsh‘s jewelry when she is on some red carpet. Well, or anyone’s jewelry on a red carpet come to think of it. Sure. I like to know who designed the dresses, but the jewelry? Who cares? It’s not like the TV viewing audience is running to Google Neil Lane and ordering the diamond encrusted emerald earrings. For the most part, that information is blather. In this age of celebrity hounding, there’s way too much information out there and it is really getting nauseating. It makes… Read More »

The film, The Social Network has forced Mark Zuckerberg to come out of the shadows, rather, his computer screen. Since then, it seems that Facebook, which I used to like, has evolved quickly into a mass marketing machine. I am accosted with invitations to utter nonsense making my email inbox seem like a spam free zone, which it is not. Gone are the good old days when long-lost eighth grade classmates would stalk me now that that they see I am no longer a fatso however they are. We see Mark Zuckerberg everywhere: Dinners, power meetings with President Obama or… Read More »

Where is the outrage? We all know by now how horrendous the Tea Party is with all their racist Tea Bagging shenanigans. But now, things are really spiraling out of control. Where in hell is this Marilyn Davenport, the Orange County Republican Central Committee slash Tea Partyer woman who sent out a mass email depicting Barack Obama as a chimpanzee? What infuriates me is that every news outlet posted the offensive, inappropriate image but no one has posted a picture of the culprit, Marilyn Davenport. We at I Mean..What?!? refused to post that image as we consider ourselves somewhat tactful… Read More »

What else? Donald Trump can show Nicolas Cage the benefits of the art of the comb over.… Read More »

For those of you who have been reading I Mean…What?!? for a while, you might recall in my many Manzie Reports from last year and my observation that Gina Lollobrigida Orange was the new black. Naturally, I was being facetious because the way they were showing orange on the men’s runways in Milan and Paris, you would have to be insane to be caught dead walking the streets in half of these get ups, rather, you would get the shit kicked out of you by a pack of homophobes. Fortunately, orange in regards to menswear, never really took off, but… Read More »

NEWS UPDATE (April Fools, no joke) – Before you read yesterday’s story, the big story today is that Donald Trump will get a “morning chat” kind of spot on Fox News, during Fox and Friends. Bold, brash and never bashful is his slogan. Hot. He will appear every Monday, kind of like a Monday morning quarterback. (MARCH 31, 2011) – Anyone that cannot see that Donald Trump is taking the birther stance in regards to Barack Obama does not understand the politics of the Nielsen Ratings. Donald Trump has no interest whatsoever in becoming President of the United States. The… Read More »

In a stunning politically correct move, Miss Michigan – Rima Fakih was crowned Miss USA 2010. Granted, she is beautiful, and perhaps indeed the rightful winner, but not having watched the show, I can not say whether she won hands down or whether she was crowned as a ploy to improve Arab-America relations abroad. Let’s go with the idea that she won on all her merits….riveting as they must be. Congratulations. Now, let’s go with my conspiracy theory: using the Miss USA worldwide platform as a political move on behalf of Donald Trump and Barack Obama. The plan was to… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »