“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Match the image to the ditty. 1. The Real Housewives of New York have all been cursed since the second (highest ratings) season began. Each experiencing personal problems, neither willing to admit that being the most annoying women on television is a bad thing. On the contrary, they are reveling in it. Who are these women again? 2. The claim that Harlem is losing its soul because those highfalutin real estate developments planned for the “New Harlem Renaissance” have dried up. Well, correct me if I am wrong, but Harlem has soul, it’s the real estate developers that don’t. This… Read More »

OK, OK. Sure Michelle Obama is fierce. And very stylish. And totally cool. And really smart. And her politics are wonderful. And her positive impact is being felt worldwide. And her husband is Barak Obama. OK, OK. But I have to draw the line in the sand to this ridiculous comparison between her and Carla Bruni. First of all, why must we simpletons resort to comparing at all. Why can’t people just stand on their own merit. Why can Michelle just be fabulous, compared to nobody. And what is to be gained by declaring that Michelle “out-glamed” Carla? I’ll tell… Read More »

The reason I started I Mean…What?!? was to draw attention the nonsense that fills the airwaves. The modern day media frenzy has become the master ill of our time; destroying the lives of Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Granted, they are annoying, but two wrongs don’t make a right. With the media outlets fearing loss of market share and ad revenue, they jump into sensationalist mode where no one is safe, and no story too boring to blabber on ad nauseum. I speak today of the little goose that Michelle Obama did to the Queen of England’s rear. I would… Read More »

Here we go again. Another Hilton heir is on the rise. Paris and Nikki’s younger brother Barron Nicholas, who as of late has been partying all around London, has  “officially” decided he wants to be something, do something, sing something. And I quote: “I’m sick of all the Hilton stuff, where all anyone cared about was whether I was doing coke in the bathroom or how many [bleeps] I was sleeping with. I’m done with partying and traveling. It’s time to get this [bleep] started.” I am trying to figure out what was bleeped out here. Hmmm, how many bleeps… Read More »

My favorite Oxycontin addict, Rush Limbaugh, has promised to move out of New York City now that Governor Patterson has upped the tax code for the rich. Next stop Texas where he can pal around with Bushy. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. And that is front page news? Well, yes, good news anyway. And with the exodus of that gross baboon comes a ray of hope that true, cool people will prevail and we’ll take back New York from the riff-raff that began to inhabit once the Disney-fication took hold during the Giuliani years. Toodles galore…all of you.… Read More »

Now I’ve heard everything; indirectly comparing Madonna to Michael Jackson about her obsession with children. I kid you not, and I quote: “The children of the world are not safe, as long as Madonna’s midlife crisis rages unchecked.” This is from an article written by Andrea Peyser, the horrendous Republican that writes for the New York Post. (Granted, I should not read that rag, but Page Six…come on.)  Peyser continues to rip Madonna a new asshole for wanting to go to Africa and adopt another child, this time a little three-year-old girl named Mercy.  Excuse me, Andrea dear, but the… Read More »

Just read the unfair article in Vanity Fair by the seeming fey Michael Lewis and wonder, “What the fuck was up her skirt?” I was just in Reykjavik this weekend and had a lovely time. The Iceland Design Center hosted a 3-day series of events call DesignMarch. It’s all about design…in March…get it? You march around town…and…see design. Anyhoo, there was a group of fantastic international design writers, editors and me invited by the government to explore their burgeoning creative industries ready to be discovered or rather, ready for their close-ups, me being Mr. DeMille. While is Iceland, I was… Read More »

So I just read about the looming scandal involving Joe Biden’s daughter Ashley and her alleged cocaine use. Apparently there is a video being shopped around my her alleged ex-boyfriend. It’s not like this guy has a Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian-like video with her head bobbing on a you-know-what. Ashely’s head in this video is allegedly bobbing on a red straw snorting an alleged line of blow or shall I say alleged white powder. Am I missing something here? This is a scandal? In whose eyes? Word is that this anonymous seller is shopping the video for a reported… Read More »

I was watching the BBC here in Iceland this morning and the big discussion was about the coverage of Jade Goody’s death. Jade, for those of you who don’t know much about her….ahem…me…was the star of Big Brother London in 2002. Huge star (?) . But what she did was take the flash of fame and turned herself into a media star, so that when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer, she sold the rights of her story to TV and pretty much died on TV, like Cashmere Mafia. But the discussion this morning on the BBC was not about… Read More »

At the airport, destination: Reykjavik, Iceland for the weekend. So, this two-hour check in rule is a crock of shit. Implemented since 9 – 11, it was communicated to us that the extra time was in our best interests as safety regulations were being implemented. Thank you George Bush and Dick Cheyney for your  new, improved homeland security detail. Now, here I sit, years later, waiting the hour and a half left before my flight takes off. I realize that all this fear mongering that surrounds airport check-in is part of a Bushian master plan. First you are greeeted by… Read More »