“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

We have had more Lindsay Lohan court appearance outfits than episodes of  Jersey Shore. If MTV would piece together the amount of footage and hearsay related to Lindsay Lohan’s court appearances, they would have a Roots-long docu-drama that would garner endless ratings because whether you love her or a hater…Lindsay Lohan is fascinating. Quite honestly, Lindsay should have taken my advice as mentioned in Crushable, when asked how she should handle her post jail comeback. But what do I know? FROM CRUSHABLE: As for her post-prison plans, Abe advised her to keep a low profile, attend theater classes or maybe… Read More »

Let’s face it, Superman is the most exhausted franchise of all. He makes Batman seem fresh and relevant. And the trouble with Spider-Man on Broadway is proving that fake flying is a bit of a fotz. But, you know how Hollywood is. They will milk a super hero to their last breath and Superman will fly again. Rumors are swirling that Lindsay Lohan is up for a role in the next Man of Steel caper, but not as Lois Lane. Who would believe that? She would be best served as a villain who gets it on with Superman while she… Read More »

Just when you thought there could be no more meaningless awards shows a.k.a. the People’s Choice Awards, comes the lamest one yet. AOL has created an award called the Worst Celebrity Influence Award, the voters being a bunch of 10-15 year olds. Like I would care what a bunch of clueless tangerines have to say about anything. These are the kids who are probably hopped up on Ritalin and zoom around from dance class to soccer practice to whatever other after-school nonsense. The W.C.I. Award went to Miley Cyrus. That is in and of itself is the reason to ignore… Read More »

Rather than go on a vitriol of my own about the tone of this past election cycle, which I am fully convinced is due in large part to the way Sarah Palin ran her personal popularity contest, I’d rather bring a little light and levity to what is now a time for heavy hearts. This weekend, a tragedy of tremense proportions has befallen on Arizona, and the world. Any way you slice it, it was no different than the underwear bomber of last Christmas, and every other recent terrorist act. Acts that are becoming way too commonplace in a world… Read More »

OK, so Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. Big whoop. And she is moving to Venice, next door to Samantha Ronson. Like that was not the plan? Naturally, everyone is quick to judge Lindsay for stalking Sam, when frankly, that entire relationship from the get go was a garden variety, two-way street obsession, typical of many lesbian affairs. Oooh…..like I am wrong? There is something distinct about most lesbian relationships that I have observed first hand, through many close friendships. And you just don’t want to get into the middle of that, especially if you are a guy, because you… Read More »

I’d like to take this moment to wish Miley Cyrus a Merry Christmas. She’s been the object of scrutiny for years and I say leave her alone. She has brought me plenty of I Mean What?!? traffic and for that…you go girl and lap dance with whoever the hell you please. Peace and merriment forever… Today’s The New York Times Style section highlights Miley’s recent bout with Salvia. You must have seen the video of her bonging up with what is a legal substacne which causes hallucinations. Word is that her video will actually help draw attention to the danger… Read More »

Whether it is rumor or fact, if Lindsay Lohan is hitting up on Oprah for her own post rehab reality show for the OWN Network, then all I can say is fotz. And Oprah should know better. First of all, though Malin Akerman is cute and bubbly, who can compare the value to having Lohan in the Linda Lovelace biopic, Inferno, to sweet Malin? What do I know…besides plenty. I had been asked by Mashable to weigh on what Lindsay should do to bounce back during the jail era, and my thoughts still stand. She should do a theater piece… Read More »

A recent article in The New York Times Style about Miley Cyrus is reason one to celebrate the passing of Hannah Montana. The article quotes Percy Hamm, some 11-year old who is disenchanted with her recent risque behavior. When asked about the Vanity Fair pictorial, she said, “I don’t know what was going on in her head.” Like I…or Miley…give a hoot about what some judgmental tangerine thinks about her life choices? Let me clarify: A tangerine is what I call precocious, unruly, overly verbal, whiny kids. Several years ago, Tropicana was launching a line of fruit flavored drinks, and… Read More »

It has been a while since I have mentioned Lindsay Lohan on I Mean…What?!? Frankly, her life resembles the movie Ground Hog Day as opposed to the light, frothy Mean Girls. Lindsay is suffering from The Boy Who Cried Wolf Syndrome, which is getting old…and the only heroine in the story is the cocaine. Rather than be like everyone else and judge her ad nauseum, I chose to stay out of the fray and let her chips fall where they may. And watching the endless turns of event, I would love to get my hands on a set of those… Read More »

After a very heavy weekend of serious issues hanging over our heads…Ground Zero + Mosque = Nightmare, let’s take a respite from hard news. Today the airwaves are filled with a bunch of nobodies. In light of our failing economy, endless wars, catastrophe in Pakistan, we could use a dose of mindless blather. No? Let’s see who rates as major nobodies. Follow I Mean…What?!? on Twitter.… Read More »