“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

What on Earth is everybody buggin’ out about Madonna’s performance? My phone started buzzing immediately with all these haters ripping Madge a new orifice and I don’t know what these people are thinking. My sister said, “She’s 53, put on a pair of flats and dance. What was that?” First of all that was Madonna giving high-fashion glamazon and doing what she does best… holding court. Here are the facts: Madonna came out as Cleopatra being pulled by a bunch of gayish, football playery looking gladiators. Amazing. Madonna wore Givenchy Couture. Beyond. Madge opened with Vogue. Obsessed knowing that thousands of straight… Read More »

Madonna is rumored to be in talks to play Norma Desmond in the film version of the Broadway musical Sunset Boulevard by Andrew Lloyd Weber. That would make me very happy. But a few things would have to happen. Madonna would have to surrender to the director. She would have to allow herself to look and act somewhat demented. Not like a caricature of Norma Desmond, but a real broken, lonely, lost icon. I thought Madonna was fantastic as Eva Peron, and surely, if all the stars align for Sunset Boulevard, this will be the seminal moment of Madonna’s career.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may have been paid $1.5 million for that Ungaro mess…and trashed a room at The Bowery Hotel along the way. – THE CUT Madge is back in Malawi! -Yahoo! News How insane can you be? Ivanka Trump’s stalker thinks he still has a chance with her…yikes. -Popeater Jason Lee’s ex-wife reveals some dish about Scientology…and has an amazing story about crazy Jenna Elfman. -Radar Look out skanks…he’s back and loking for love. -PAGE SIX… Read More »

Oh Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. Madge, Madge, Madge. You are making me all fatootzed (confused in Yiddish). I am soooo not feeling the Material Girl–brought to you by Macy’s–thing at all. I know, through Kabbalah, you are like officially Jewish now. But that does not mean you have to automatically go into the schmatta business. And does Lourdes need to have a career at thirteen years of age? What’s wrong with a Bat-Mitzvah at Leonard’s of Great Neck and some dance classes? I know, you are a great mother. But I am not so sure that you are a real Jewish… Read More »