“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Maybe I’ve been hiding under a rock lately…nope. Maybe I’ve been so consumed with work…nope. Maybe I’m so focused on living my life one day at a time…nope. Can’t quite put my finger on how I could have possibly missed the emergence of the newest category of celebrity…the Celebrity Gardener. Now, I lived in Los Angeles long enough to know that every celebrity has a gardener. But I didn’t realize that automatically made them Celebrity Gardeners. It doesn’t, right? So, how did that expression get coined? Especially here in New York  where we really don’t have gardens, for the most… Read More »

It is most fitting that the Paris men’s fashion shows are staged while in New York City, Gay Pride is in full regalia. Sunday, while the androgynous models sauntered down the runway, the few nelly customers that will likely buy the Manzie looks were sashaying down Fifth Avenue in all their Sasha Fierceness. I did notice however, that Manzies were everywhere in New York both on and off the gay runway. So now, I have officially changed the name of Gay Pride to “Manzies and Tranzies and Bears…Oh My!!!” Though I liked much in most collections that were shown on… Read More »

Just when you thought it was safe for Manzies to come out of the closet in droves from Milan, comes the newest crop of shows from Paris. And what a difference a city makes. Milan was uber-butch in comparison. Before I do my show and tell, the one major trend that kept appearing on the catwalks was “Men as women.” It seems to me that the statement is: since men fucked up our global economy (for the most part), why not dress them now as women so they feel castrated for their actions. At least that’s what I am taking… Read More »

How many times this week have you heard people (be it in the media or around your office) say, “Farrah Fawcett upstaged Ed McMahon’s death, then Michael Jackson upstaged Farrah’s death”. I mean…what?!? Am I crazy or does this sound preposterous. I get how huge a story the Michael Jackson drug overdose is…and the unexpected demise takes over the media coverage. But to say that one person’s death upstages another is such disrespectful nonsense. And one that annoys the shit out of me. First of all, when people “upstage” it’s most likely intentional. Just ask Hollywood legend, Bette Davis who… Read More »

Just about everyone on Earth has been affected by Michael Jackson…somehow. Whether it’s your fondest musical memories, your endless, desperate, unsuccessful attempts to do the “moonwalk”, singing songs from Thriller in the shower to test your vocal chops or dancing in the mirror, alone in your room, grabbing your crotch. Michael Jackson is there, in your system, in your heart, and surely everywhere in the pop culture vernacular. We all adored him until we began to despise him. Reading all the reports, headlines, glowing life stories, endless news coverage of the late, great King of Pop, I could not help… Read More »

You can call me a lot of things, but a prude is not one of them. Though this week, having had an earful of utter nonsense regarding these middle-aged, Republican men and their illicit sex romps, I may come off a bit puritanical. Excuse me for acting all Queen Victoria, but I do not need to have the visuals of Mark Sanford, Silvio Berlusconi or John Ensign…naked with some hooker…dancing in my head. And with the amount of attention to these guys have received, it’s there, stuck in my head, and I need to get them out. All the Manzie’s… Read More »

Earlier in the week I did a report on the Milan Men’s Shows an noticed a burgeoning trend that I lovingly call the “Season of the Manzie”. Now, maybe I need to clarify here. A Man-zie is not like a Dandy, nor is it like a Pansy, hence the revised spelling. In my book, a Pansy doesn’t necessarily need to dress effeminately in order to be called a Pansy by a bunch of blokes. On the contrary. They just need to have a sisssing “S” in their speech or run with their arms flailing or become cheerleaders. A Dandy on… Read More »

Several weeks ago, I noticed a trend in men’s fashion that goes beyond metrosexual (a.k.a. frigid bi-curious), which was screaming out for its own moniker…hence…Man-zies. Man-zies are categorically “quirky”, which in men, is never a good thing. From the “quirky man-hat” to overly printed shorts to neckie scarves worn for no reason, like in warm weather, the Man-zie can be seen everywhere these days. It’s the evolution of the men’s fashion industry, I guess, but somehow, even on the runway, it doesn’t work. As the Milan Men’s Shows are in full bloom, one couldn’t help noticing that there was a… Read More »

What is The I Mean…What?! Clinking Clanking Clattering Collection Of Collagenous Junk News, you ask? What else,  a recap of this week’s “not really” news as told through images. You can also call it, the Hodge Podge Lodge News and for the sake of levity and brevity, the “This Is News News?” So, without any further ado and no particular order of relevance or irrelevance:… Read More »

Today I am taking the day off from cracking jokes or making fun of anyone. My heart is heavy for the people of Iran. Today they need my–and all of our–support…at least in spirit. I wrote earlier this week about how I felt their pain as they took to the streets demanding their voices be heard. Well, they have been heard, but sadly, that will not change their lives as they live in a dictatorship. Sure, the politics of their government do not reflect mine, but nor does it reflect theirs. Today, I stand in solidarity with the people of… Read More »