“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Did you even wonder what happens to a Real Housewife once she is put out to pasture? Cancelled. Not asked back. Told they are no longer “IT” women. Since they were never “IT” girls, why should they have ever really been “IT” women in the first place? But seriously, where do they go? How do they refer to themselves postmortem? “I WAS real but no longer am?” When the glare of Andy Cohen‘s pearly whites dims and the real housewife is left to her own devices, standing on the edge of a red carpet event, what happens? How do they… Read More »

Y’all know that I am a huge supporter of Lindsay Lohan, correct? Whatever the trials and tribulations, I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. Today—though I did hear some delicious gossip about Lindsay while she was in Santa Barbara this weekend. Forget it, I am not a yenta—I take pause with her choice of wedding ensemble. First of all, isn’t it a rule of thumb to not wear white unless you are the bride? Wasn’t that what started the huge cat fight last season on The Real Housewives of New York City? And that incensed the drunk one.… Read More »

And the gloves are off. Who will win the ratings battle between The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills versus The Real Housewives of New York City this season? Duh. Beverly Hills of course. I have never been a big fan or watcher of the New York housewives because–well–who cares about these run of the mill ladies who lunch? Or in the case of Bethenny Frankel, liquid lunch. The Beverly Hills broads live an aspirational, opulent lifestyle whereas the New York ladies are a bunch of yentas, living seemingly above their means or worse–Brooklyn. Needless to say the Beverly Hills broads… Read More »

NEWS FLASH: KANYE WEST’S PENIS SNUBBED BY PLAYGIRL Pictures of Kanye West‘s penis were allegedly pitched to Playgirl and in a twist of fate, the magazine passed on the offer. So what are you now Kanye, the next Kelly Bensimon from The Real Housewives of New York City? Can someone please stuff a sock in Kanye West‘s mouth? Kanye fell from grace having opened his pie hole at the VMA Awards and stealing the thunder from Taylor Swift for winning Best Song. He actually took it upon himself, with his over blown ego, to determine who should have won that… Read More »

As we close out the year and begin anew, let’s see who has what it takes to keep their puss in the light of media glare and what nudniks gets cast aside like a pair of old shoes. It’s a tough business, this business of show, and you have to be cunning, baffling and powerful…oh, that’s alcohol, but still applicable here. Who doesn’t benefit from a booze addled night coupled with a few Hooter-types? Can you say Tiger Woods thirteen times fast? Anyhoo, here to kick-off 2010, is the first installment of Last Five Minutes of Fame.… Read More »

Not too long ago I did a piece on these so called parties, featuring people(?) snapped by photographers that were beyond yikes. When I say beyond yikes, I mean, who are they and why are they being photographed? Well, having had a great response from the I Mean…What?!? audience, here with, another segment of The Party’s Over. When I started my career as a party goer, it was the first few days of Studio 54. Back then, the paparazzi were focused on real celebrities and interesting notables. Boy have things changed. There’s little else to say except please enjoy this… Read More »