“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

There are two dreadful days of the year. No, not April 15, that one I can stomach. These are the bitter pills of days. One of them is that first day back to work (or school, which caused the problem in the first place) after the long, joyous summer. I did a piece The End of Summer Stomach Ache earlier this year. It is clear as a bell why they call it Labor Day because it’s as painful as being in labor. The other horrendous day is the first day back to work after the Christmas holidays having overdosed on… Read More »

How did The New York Times Style section figure out a way to stretch an article about Justin Bieber as long as it was? The guy is still in diapers for Christ’s sake. Is there really enough depth for such an extensive piece? Oh, right, the Jingle Ball, now there’s a life-altering lesson to share. Needless to say, when I read that his mother was praying that the Jewish hip-hop manager would not be their ticket to fame and fortune, I cringed. But to learn that Justin has a swagger coach…for what…to give his prepubescent genital area some Elvis action…well…I… Read More »

Am I alone here when I say, “This is what the New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has time for?” Taking time to discuss the Jon Gosselin break in? Oy, vey! Let’s hope that Hailey Glassman gets even more attention from the media when we find out that she was involved in this hoax. What would be the difference between this and Balloon Boy? I leave you with this…Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston were the most talked about guys in 2009…except for Tiger Woods, another picture of emotional health. And we wonder why America is no longer the power… Read More »

“To err is human; to forgive is divine” – Alexander Pope. The funny thing about our hypocritical society is that we are so quick to judge and so reluctant to forgive. The United States was created by a bunch of uptight religious zealots, Puritans, and their values are still immersed in our culture. No matter how modern we get, like Tiger(s), we do not change our stripes. As much as I am trying to ignore the Tiger Woods saga, it is impossible for me not to chime in every once in a while, especially when I see the Puritans having… Read More »

Sure, the lackluster economy does not top the list. Nor does the endless coverage of Tiger Woods and his barrage of hookery-tramps. Today it is all about taking a deep breath and thinking back to what you have to be grateful for. Though this year was turbulent, your job is to identify where there was joy. Gratitude lists are very personal, and since I feel so close to many of you (except those kooks who were obsessed with Lindsay Lohan), herewith is my list. I urge you to make your own, because as the year comes to an end, it… Read More »

The news has been so uninteresting, especially these days, with the Tiger Woods story monopolizing the media with his bevvy of hookers (I know, they all aren’t, but they are, Blanche) jumping face first in front of any camera that will have them. Who was it that said, “Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a Tiger bye his…well…surely not his toe.” Oh, right, yours truly. I have tried to limit the I Mean…What?!? coverage of The Tiger Woods Saga, reason being…it is boring as hell. How the media has made milk toast into a sex commodity is by far the greatest… Read More »

Yesterday, I Mean…What?!? shared the cover art for the upcoming issue of MUSE, the Fashionart Magazine from Milan shot by Yu Tsai, featuring Lindsay Lohan. You’d think by the the comments all over the internet that we did something malicious. You know, like the Bitches of Eastwick coming out of the woodwork, claiming that we had sex with Tiger Woods, (I’m breching at the thought, but would happily take the million bucks). Or sneaking into the White House illegally like Michaele and Tareq Salahi the desperadoes du jour. Or perhaps like Courtney (more facial fillers now) Love, accusing Britney Spears‘… Read More »

Today there’s just little kernels of dish that made me put together Bits and Pieces of Nonsense for you to nibble on. With Tiger still caught by his..well..not his toe…and the White House Hookers still the big story, I thought I’d just add a little here and there and wish you all a great weekend. 1) Speaking of hookers, remember Ashley Dupre? Well, she is now officially a hooker with a heart of gold. She makes an incredibly good point about the bitches that are picking at Tiger Woods‘ carcass and I suggest you read in story. Click on photo… Read More »

You know exactly what I am about to talk about: the endless coverage of the White House Party Crashers and Tiger Woods and His Stream of Dancing Ho’s. Unfortunately, these stories are not going anywhere for the next foreseeable future. Yikes, what’s Babba Wawwa (Barbara Walters) to do? Do you think she could quickly grab Tiger Woods or the tragically-desperate-for-fame couple Tareq and Michaele Salahi as her last two entries for 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009? She needs ratings!!! All I know is that The Insider spent a full half-hour on Tiger‘s penis. Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a… Read More »