“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

It has been a while since commenting on the bastardization of the term Fashion Week. Couple years ago, they seemed to be popping up in every God knows where and forsaken location on Earth. Reading back from older IMW posts, I found an entry which included a plan to put an end to all of them besides New York, London, Milan and Paris. Guess my plan never was activated because I just discovered another one… El Paseo Fashion Week. Where is that you ask? It just does not matter because it needs to stop now. Look, I understand that a bunch of retirees in Palm Desert (answer) want to go to an event? Shuffle board is no longer a draw, whereas fashion is. But let’s not label it a Fashion Week. Might I suggest El Paseo Passe Fashion Extravaganza? Because when you shuffle a few LA-based designers around, that is all it is. Declaring a whole week is all sorts of wrong and not fashionable. Being fashionable is knowing when something is fashionable, using a term loosely is just plain sad.

How To Deal With World Fashion Week – This entry is from March 17, 2010

You can thank me later. For now, I have devised a devilishly good plan to put an end, once and for all, to World Fashion Week. Now, when I refer to World Fashion Week, I mean places in this world besides Paris, Milan, London and New York that host “Fashion Weeks”…and I use the term loosely here. Having looked at image after image (click on links for a good giggle) from places such as Madrid, Rome, Kiev, Krygyzstan (no, I am not kidding), Abu Dabi, Pakistan, Lakme, San Paolo, Aspen (really?), Dubai, Couture Tranny, Los Angeles (they are actually claiming Los Angeles Fashion Month…tee hee), I have decided that all this needs to stop. The brilliance of my plan should bring applause all around, and cheers by actual designers who are already feeling the pinch from the glut of celebrity designers. All these ancillary activities have to be eating into the core business of fashion. And if I am wrong, well, you can just thank me for getting rid of the fashion riff-raff.

THE PLAN: My idea was inspired by the article in today’s The New York Observer about the The 9/11 Gay Terrorist named Ahmad Hikmat Shakir. Gay, yes, hot, no. “He was tall as a mushroom, fat and gay,” one source familiar with the case told The Observer, “and the idea was to exploit him as an agent against Al Qaeda.” The article also points out that Mohamed Atta, the 9/11 hijacker from Egypt, was also rumored to be gay. OK, so, reading about these queens, I consider the whole Gays in the Military, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy drama and think, “What if we just take all the gays in the military and assign them to the critical task of rounding up all the World Fashion Week “designers”…and I use the term loosely here…and bring them to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Once there, the “designers” can host massive styling fests with the other terrorists, that, who knows, might also be gay.” Don’t you love it? Move over The Hurt Locker, these outfits are dangerous. Check out these images from around the globe and tell me if I am not onto something here. I mean…what?!?