“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

You can do all the upscale advertising you want. So, whether you are Target, K-Mart or JCPenney, get over yourselves right now, because smoke and mirrors is not going to replace better merchandise. Ever. Sure, these limited edition designer duds gets tons of attention and brings in a sought-after audience, but once that limited edition sells out, what’s left in-store is the crap that makes up for most of the merchandise in these mass marketers. So, Jean Claude Penney is coming to New York City? Big whoop. Penney has been trying for years to up its ante through free association by building in malls that house better department stores, such as in the Garden State Plaza, just next to Nordstroms.  You can instantly feel the down-market-ness of JCPenney the second you walk into the store. Hey, I’m not being a bitch. It is the truth. Lighting, signage, fotz. In every nuance of the retail presentation, you just know that you are not in Kansas (Nordstroms) anymore. Don’t hate me for seeing through your not-quite-up-to-snuff retail display design. New York does not need more crap. If anything, we need to start editing the crap that is here…and while we are at it, include plenty of people in that process as well…namely Jon Gosselin and his sad, star-hungry girlfriends. Brech.

I walked into K-Mart recently looking for a vacuum cleaner, was shepherded through the women’s clothing section and gasped at the sheer volume of horrendous, dizzying-printed, two-piece sets in colors that make sherbet seem monochromatic. Literally, I could not breathe and ran from the store gasping for air.

And though we love our Target runs, mine in Edgewater, New Jeresey when visiting my sisters, all I can ever buy there is large-size laundry detergent, tubs of moist towlettes and white, Fieldcrest towels. Get the picture? Proving that Target is better in theory. Sure, I paw through the “designer” sections and have purchased a Mossimo this or that over the years, only to wear them once and realize the fabric was beyond crap, coming to the conclusion, “You get what you pay for.”