The CFDA Fashion Don’ts or The I MEAN…WHAT?! Not Best Dressed Awards

There’s nothing like an awards show to warm the cockles of my heart. It gives me a chance to put forth the I MEAN…WHAT?!? Not Best Dressed List. And last night, the CFDA Awards did not disappoint. There were some mini doozies…but doozies, just the same. It is probably best that I MEAN..WHAT?!? put out the Not Best Dressed List since we are not “true” fashion insiders and objectivity is the key. A “true” fashion insider is not likely to say something like, “What the hell was Aerin Lauder wearing, doesn’t she own a mirror?” because a true fashion insider will need to kiss up to Aerin for future sponsorship. They will do what every other true fashion insider does…which is air kiss her on both cheeks and say, “Aerin darling, you look fantastic. Who dressed you?” What’s great about the I MEAN…WHAT?!? Not Best Dressed Awards is that we are not afraid to say what we think, whereas the true fashion insider would fear losing their place at the table next season, or worse, their spot on “The List”. Heaven forbid…they would sooner die. And I quote Rachel Zoe here, “I die, I die, D-I-E.” Unlike the Costume Institute Gala, this is a simpler affair..ish. Yes, there are plenty of gowns, but the temperature is always set by her royal highness, Anna Wintour, who wore a lovely Carolina Herrera cocktail length dress, which was most fitting. So now, without any further ado, and in no particular order, here are my selects of those who really have made the largest faux pas on Earth…looking…well…let’s just say…not your best…at New York’s premiere fashion event. All is forgiven.

Oy, Erin Erin, Erin. Not sure where to begin. Perhaps at the beguine.

Oy, Aerin, Aerin, Aerin. Not sure where to begin. Perhaps at the beguine.

Michelle Trachtenberg, you look like you just dashed here from Daniel Rosenblatt's Bar Mitvah.

Michelle Trachtenberg (yes, left), you look like you just dashed here from Daniel Rosenblatt's Bar Mitvah.

Elie Tahari, I know you sell shmatehs, but could you have not worn one to this event. You upstaged your lovely wife.

Elie Tahari, yes, technically you are a shmateh peddler, but could you have not worn one to this event. You upstaged your lovely wife, whose dress needed shortening.

Cynthia FRwoley, is it me, or is your dress ill-fitting. Next time, ask the designer (you) to take up the straps a bit.

Cynthia Rowley, is it me, or is your dress ill-fitting. Next time, ask the designer (you) to take up the straps a bit.

Yigal Azrul, there are all sorts of wrong going on here. Did you wear this get up to attract press? It worked. Fotz.

Yigal Azruel, what did you come as? Puss in Boots? Fotz.

Doutzen in Zac Posen. The empereor's new clothes continues not to disappoint.

Doutzen in Zac Posen. The emperor's new clothes continues not to disappoint.

Fabiola, Big Bird meets cocktail set does not fabulous make.

Fabiola, Big Bird meets cocktail set does not fabulous make.

Lake Bell, weren't you are the Costume Institute Gala? Madonna and Leighton Meester wore Vuitton and were the worst dressed of the evening. And now you are on the list too!

Lake Bell, weren't you are the Costume Institute Gala? Madonna and Leighton Meester wore Vuitton and made worst dressed list. And now you are too!

Oy vey iz meer. Lonneke, tatele. Model yes, style icon, no.

Oy vey iz meer. Lonneke, tatele. Model yes, style icon, no.

Olivia darling, you needed one more fitting. That top needed to be much tighter. That or next time you just wear something off the rack, have a stylist friend pin it for you or something.

Olivia darling, you needed one more fitting. That top needed to be much tighter to give you shape. That or next time you just wear something off the rack, have a stylist friend pin it for you or something.

Mary Kate,, were you at the same Rosenblatt Bar Mitzvah as Michelle Trachtenberg? Who's Granda did you borrow that from. I mean...

Ashely, were you also at the Rosenblatt Bar Mitzvah with Michelle Trachtenberg? Whose Grandma did you borrow that from. I mean...

Sally Singer (left) not doing Vogue justice. Loud and all sorts of Yenteh going on here.

Sally Singer (left) not doing Vogue justice. Loud and all sorts of Yenteh going on here.

Victoria Bartlett's skirt is ill fitting, the necklace is a bit much. Whatever.

Victoria Bartlett's skirt is ill fitting, the necklace is a bit much, not feeling the brown shoes..whatever.

Who gets your vote for not best dressed?

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6 responses to “The CFDA Fashion Don’ts or The I MEAN…WHAT?! Not Best Dressed Awards”

  1. HD says:

    Abe- U r sooooooooooooooo mean. I guess the truth hurtz. ;o0

  2. ABE says:

    Mean? That was not mean. I kept my comments to a minimum.

  3. Benita says:

    Aerin Lauder's outfit says "Christ on the cross" to me for some reason — maybe it's all the structured draping.

    Didn't Jeffrey Hunter wear this very ensemble in King of Kings?

  4. eleonora says:

    What happened to Aerin Lauder's waistline? Draped dresses are not an easy look to wear, that's for sure!

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