“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Sometimes I wish my body type was different so I could wear styles of clothing that would not me look fat or short. Trust me, if given the choice, I would happily look like a lanky, pale, unfriendly, male model, whose greatest achievement is walking down a straight and narrow path. If you think I like being restricted to jeans, sneakers and V-neck sweaters…think again. The only person who gets my sense of style is Simon Cowell. Need I say more? As an aficionado of fashion, I love wondering what it would be like to wear a Rick Owens skirt, or an Adam Kimmel jumpsuit or even trouncing around in a pair of the new Alexis Mabille toreador lace up pants. Yup, they looks like it sounds. Each season, these three designers never disappoint, because you can count on them to put out items of clothing that the faggiest fag would wear. And just how many of those consumers are there?

The Fall ’11 Mabille collection was chock full of weird bullfighter inspired costumes. He must have an underground cult following because surely we will not see anyone (especially guys) on the surface of the Earth walking around in lace up leggings. Correct me if I am wrong.

Each season, Adam Kimmel includes at least one jumpsuit in his presentations because: (A) He can. (B) They must sell out or else why keep it in the collection. (C) He can.