“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Eden Wood, that fantastic retiree from Scary Tangerine Pageants, who was recently dressed by Marc Jacobs during New York Fashion Week, has gone into the endorsement/personal appearance business. No more competing with screaming, underfed, tykes. Eden is onto bigger and better opportunities like cocktail parties and store openings.… Read More »

  Of all the weeks that Lady Gaga comes out fighting with words against Cathy Horyn, this would not be the one. As Goo-Goo Gaga did her Acting 101 Scene Study class with herself at the VMA’s, she should watch who she goes up against. Cathy Horyn is not, nor will she ever be irrelevant. And though I would love to go on and on about how wrong Gaga is about her, what is shocking in this whole story is that Gaga actually believes that a 15 year old girl is more important or relevant than a sophisticated, world-traveled, educated… Read More »

Really? Everyone is in an uproar about the photo spread in French Vogue featuring a ten year old girl wearing high fashion? Really? The mommy blogs are in a Twitter? Big deal. Everyone go to a mirror and look deep in your soul as to where you participated and why this is even the case. We glamorize Toddlers & Tiaras, we make fashion for tweens the most relevant statement, so naturally we have to tap ten year olds to grace the covers of magazines. This, my dear Watson, is because we have let that 1970’s expression “Sex Sells” become the… Read More »

Thanks to Twitter, Marc Jacobs now knows the downside of Social Media. Some intern had the quintessential bad first job experience and Twittered about how horrendous Robert Duffy is. Look, I am sure he is no picnic, but who is? It sounds like this boy, fresh out of college and being mollycoddled his whole life, could not figure out how to deal with the real world. There are studies after studies showing that the Baby Boomer parents have raised a generation of the neediest, spoon-fed, car-pooled tangerines. When kids get into the work force, they are overwhelmed for not being… Read More »

Are you ready to cringe? httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TRVOFEsoWk Just so you all know, my newest, favorite expression is “EEK” and though I rarely use exclamation points, in the case of Cecilia Cassini, EEK! Sure, it is very admirable that a ten year old has a vocation but in this instance, a muzzle would be the must-have accessory for this tangerine. (Click that word to know what I mean by tangerine or see below.) The dress Cecilia is wearing on the purple carpet looks like a costume from a kindergarten play. Throwing butterfly wings on a dress otherwise worn by one of the… Read More »

Just when you thought there could be no more meaningless awards shows a.k.a. the People’s Choice Awards, comes the lamest one yet. AOL has created an award called the Worst Celebrity Influence Award, the voters being a bunch of 10-15 year olds. Like I would care what a bunch of clueless tangerines have to say about anything. These are the kids who are probably hopped up on Ritalin and zoom around from dance class to soccer practice to whatever other after-school nonsense. The W.C.I. Award went to Miley Cyrus. That is in and of itself is the reason to ignore… Read More »

I’d like to take this moment to wish Miley Cyrus a Merry Christmas. She’s been the object of scrutiny for years and I say leave her alone. She has brought me plenty of I Mean What?!? traffic and for that…you go girl and lap dance with whoever the hell you please. Peace and merriment forever… Today’s The New York Times Style section highlights Miley’s recent bout with Salvia. You must have seen the video of her bonging up with what is a legal substacne which causes hallucinations. Word is that her video will actually help draw attention to the danger… Read More »

A recent article in The New York Times Style about Miley Cyrus is reason one to celebrate the passing of Hannah Montana. The article quotes Percy Hamm, some 11-year old who is disenchanted with her recent risque behavior. When asked about the Vanity Fair pictorial, she said, “I don’t know what was going on in her head.” Like I…or Miley…give a hoot about what some judgmental tangerine thinks about her life choices? Let me clarify: A tangerine is what I call precocious, unruly, overly verbal, whiny kids. Several years ago, Tropicana was launching a line of fruit flavored drinks, and… Read More »

It never ceases to amaze me how some people walk around, be it at events, or otherwise, in get ups that are just shockingly wrong. Doesn’t Own A Mirror could become a weekly column, seeing what weird taste people have. The focus is on those folks that should know better…like people that the media follows, who simply must know a stylist or a gay, to help them navigate the horrors of looking like…well…this…… Read More »