“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

LINDSAY: Don’t you dare talk shit about my mother.
BROOKE: Your mother is shit.… Read More »

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms: Lohan (Low–as in life– Han) to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges). injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility). to put an end to or extinguish (career). to kill or slay (career). to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything). to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback). Lindsay Lohan is no longer a just person, or an actress, lohan is now officially a verb. Replace lohan with the word destroy and you will see what I… Read More »

Somewhere Over The Fiscal Cliff (sung to the tune of Somewhere Over The Rainbow) should be the official swan song for Lindsay Lohan and the Republican House of Representatives.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
Way down there.
There’s a bunch of gross baboons,
Drowning in their selfish pride.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
John Boehner sobs,
And Paul Ryan is wishing that he never took Mitt’s call.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan officially kisses her career goodbye.… Read More »

Radar Online is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is telling Dina Lohan that she needs rehab? If that ain’t the pot calling the kettle orange.… Read More »

Not a week after I said that Lindsay Lohan should lose those bangs comes her new ‘doo and I am taking full credit. Whatever. this, after she was mistaken for Debbie Harry who is FORTY years her senior. Too bad she didn’t do this for her return to Earth on Saturday Night Live. People would have been more focused on that rather than her cue-card festoon.… Read More »