“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

We’d like to think that the Gross Baboon of the Year Award kicks off awards season here at I Mean What. Hey, look, the Razzies started somewhere and surely not in a ballroom. So humor us. Help make the Gross Baboon of the Year Award the next big thing. It’s already been a very busy year, chock full of gross baboons. So, let’s review the nominees for the 2012 Gross Baboon of the Year Awards, shall we?

Before we do that, some of you newbies might be asking, what is a Gross Baboon? Is it a loving expression? I don’t think so. A compliment? Not by a long shot. A specific visual? Oh, definitely. When I first coined the phrase, I thought, “What can you call someone for just being their worst selves without stooping to curse words and other childish tactics? And what animal is really gross?” A baboon surely. Hence, the history of the award name. And now, without any further ado, here are the nominees for 2012 Gross Baboon of the Year. Be sure to vote this year… for President AND Gross Baboon. Once can only hope that they will not be one and the same. Been there, done that.

1. Ann Romney – After seeing that interview where she refused to discuss their tax returns, she cares the beJesus out of me.
2. Mitt Romney – Since he lies through his teeth coupled with the fact that he is a member of the Lucky Sperm Club.
3. Tagg Romney – Threatening to whoop Obama’s ass coupled with member of the Lucky Sperm Club.
4. Any Romney – Right?
5. Paul Ryan & Todd Akin – Need I clarify? Co-signing that bill redefining rape puts them in A Gross League of Their Own.
6. Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner – Not for their orange skin rather for the air they breathe.
7. Monica Lewinsky – She’s back like herpes simplex.
8. Erin Moran – She makes Lindsay Lohan seem like Sister Betrille.
9. Amanda Bynes – She makes Lindsay Lohan look normal.
10. Lindsay Lohan – Nah, she will never look normal again, we know TMI.
11. The McBeth Witches… I mean… Sheldon Adelson, Karl Rove and the Koch Brothers – Talk about a cauldron of grossness. They make the ingredients of the Witches Brew seem like fruit punch.
12. Jerry Sandusky, who got caught – Since he was found guilty, he stays on this list. I believe in innocent until proven Gross Baboon.
13. Caiden Cowger & West Virginia GOP Senate candidate John Raese who did not get caught – Vomit in general.
14. John Edwards – The dalliance that caused much destruction.
15. Rielle Hunter – The dilly that he dallianced with.
16. John Edwards & Rielle Hunter – Gross Baboons that shtoop together, stay together, or have a kid together. Something gross.
17. Pastor Charles L. Worley – Fire and brimstone to this douche bag.
18. Rush Limbaugh…Lifetime Achievement Award?!? – Done.
19. Jane Svoboda, a known schizophrenic – When crazy people are allowed to walk free and are homophobic, how should we handle this?
20. Ted Nugent – A singing Gross Baboon.
21. Sarah Palin, a staple on the list – A serenaded Gross Baboon.
22. George Pataki…as of last night – Becoming the newest Republican mouthpiece to support the lies Mitt Romney spews at the debates.
23. Ann Coulter – As of the moment she was born.
24. Courtney Stodden…hello – Just gross.
25. The Today Show for kowtowing to Sarah Palin and letting her host a segment – Like they need more bad press?
26. Salem Witches…Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain – The Merry Band of lunatics that thought they had what it takes to become the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World. Absolutely gross AND bonkers.
27. Chris Brown was on the list but now that Rihanna has taken the wife-beater back, does that remove him or include her to the list? – Please advise.

 PLEASE NOTE VIEWERS CHOICE LIST IN FORMATION:

1. Karl Rove
2. John Sununu
3. Ayman Al Zawahiri
4. Republicans who oppose abortion yet support death penalty. #Oxymorons
5. Pedro Rios
6. Gabe Joseph, ccAdvertising
7. Rupert Murdoch
8. Eric Cantor
9. (Little) Dick Morris