“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

That iconic song that Burt Parks made famous, Here She Is, Miss America will always stay in my memory. There are songs that do that like Over The Rainbow, and It’s A Hard Knock Life from Annie. Songs that directly correlate to young girls. Last night, Miss Nebraska Teresa Scanlan, became the youngest winner in 90 years to snag the crown. Teresa is seventeen years old and from the looks of this picture, she could easily be her mother.… Read More »

Here is proof that all the absurd, demonic, right wing jerks like Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin are in fact directly responsible for all the ills on Earth. The Tea Partyers and those who refuse to take any responsibility what-so-ever for the tone in which our country is operating had better get a grip…or get honest with themselves. One of the two. This sign, which is tastefully located in Arizona speaks volumes. Between this screw up and Sarah Palin’s utterly idiotic anti-Semetic comment about blood-libel goes to show that the cat is out of the bag and it is time… Read More »

And they’re off. The shock jocks, blabber mouths and horses ass’s mouths are running out of the gate. For one solitary day, after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and the senseless massacre of innocent people, we had a moment, before the staged silence, that felt as though this horrendous event might impact the bloviators who spew hateful rhetoric. It was on Sunday, and I was hoping that all the God-fearing Christians would see this as a sign and shift their evil-doing ways. That they might, perhaps, even be more Christian. One day. That is all we got. Because if you… Read More »

Rather than go on a vitriol of my own about the tone of this past election cycle, which I am fully convinced is due in large part to the way Sarah Palin ran her personal popularity contest, I’d rather bring a little light and levity to what is now a time for heavy hearts. This weekend, a tragedy of tremense proportions has befallen on Arizona, and the world. Any way you slice it, it was no different than the underwear bomber of last Christmas, and every other recent terrorist act. Acts that are becoming way too commonplace in a world… Read More »

Look at these two yuckleheads and tell me what kind of skin pigment they have? Freakin’ tangerine peels? I am getting my LV trunks out and starting to pack since we have to listen to this clueless, usually-sobbing John Boehner for the next few years. Brian Williams asked Orange John in his first interview as House Speaker to name one thing that he would cut from the budget. ‘Cause we all know how fiscally prudent those Republicans are…starting with George Bush Jr…yikes. John Boehner’s response was, “I don’t have one off the top of my head.” Of course not you… Read More »

NEW ALERT: SAMMI “SWEETHEART” JUST LAUNCHED A JEWELRY LINE. You know that I was not letting this ditty go by unnoticed. Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, yes, the bitchy one from MTV’s Jersey Shore, is actually launching a fragrance. Dangerous will be out in stores in time for those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer at the Jersey Shore. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what kind of girl wants to smell like a cat, with Katy Perry’s Purr or Kate Walsh’s (ex)Boyfriend. Oh, and let’s not forget Jennifer Aniston’s Lolavie, whatever the hell that means, that she… Read More »

OK, so Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. Big whoop. And she is moving to Venice, next door to Samantha Ronson. Like that was not the plan? Naturally, everyone is quick to judge Lindsay for stalking Sam, when frankly, that entire relationship from the get go was a garden variety, two-way street obsession, typical of many lesbian affairs. Oooh…..like I am wrong? There is something distinct about most lesbian relationships that I have observed first hand, through many close friendships. And you just don’t want to get into the middle of that, especially if you are a guy, because you… Read More »

Though Oprah has never been married to Stedman Grant, they did just birth a baby. A baby network that is. Our reigning queen of television has just popped out The Oprah Winfrey Network, OWN, which sums up the whole deal. According to Oprah, Stedman named the new tyke. Considered by many as our Princess Di, Oprah, not content with that title alone, along with cornering every other form of media, wanted to do pull a Ted Turner by starting her own network. A network true to her belief system. For Ted, it was wanting to deliver world news all day,… Read More »

We are all entitled to screwing up how we look and Kim Kardashian is no exception. Normally stunning, here we see that she must have gone to Jamaica on vacation where no matter who you are, you get cornered by a native who cornrows your hair. There is no other excuse. She could not have been convinced to do this by her regular hair guy. And her sisters Khloe and Kourtney must have been filming their new show because this is a “when in Rome” look, like I am sitting here. So, Happy New Year’s Kimmie. You look horrendous. Welcome… Read More »

As we leave the ferocious Year of the Tiger (ask Mr. Woods if you don’t believe me) and enter the Year of the Rabbit, I wanted to share a few words from the most provocative rabbit ever, Bugs Bunny. I know this defies the law of gravity, but I never studied law! Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive. What an ultramaroon! If an interesting monster can’t have an interesting hairdo I don’t know what this world is coming to. The rabbit is considered a kind and intelligent creature in Cambodian culture. The Year Of The Rabbit… Read More »