“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

I never thought I would hear myself saying that I am sorry that someone is losing pounds. As an ex-fatty I support all weight watchers. In this case though, it is u2 losing 100 pounds…British pounds as in dosh. – DIGITAL SPY Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart have finally tied the knot. ZZZZZZ. – ABC NEWS Imagine getting kidnapped and forced to smoke dope. For sure Jeremy London did not consider this a kidnapping as much as being invited to the party. – D LISTED Julia Roberts is stunning. So, there’s a little airbrushing. Now everybody get over yourselves. –… Read More »

There is a new report that Tiger Woods fathered a child with a porn star names Devon James. Seriously who can even listen to this nonsense? Can we just put all these woman who have–and continue to–step forward claiming to wanking and spanking the wood of Mr. Woods? Even if it is true…which by the way, the mother of this new skank accuser went on record to say that there is no truth to the story…who cares? If her own mother thinks she is a pathological liar, why are we even having this conversation? The riveting news came from Ms.… Read More »

Kylie thinks that there is a little Kylie in Lady Gaga. Where as I think there is a little Kylie in all of us. – NY DAILY NEWS Stephen Colbert’s hilarious quote: “Until BP cleans up its mess, English muffins will now be known as freedom muffins.” – PAGE SIX Al Gore and Laurie David…hmm…deny all you want. But where there is smoke…there is fire. – HUFFINGTON POST Click here to follow us on Twitter.… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpLX67_iSt4 Not that I am shocked, but as usual, I am right. Gloria Allred has just been hired by Debrahlee “The Bombshell” Lorenzana, which is hilarious at best. Yesterday, Andrea Peyser from the New York Post wrote a really snide piece on The Bombshell, which caused her to get her knickers in a twist and reach out to the big guns herself, Madam Gloria Allred, to help scare up some serious dough for the Money Honey from Citibank. In case you missed it, here’s what I wrote on June 4: Have you been following this story in the news about… Read More »

This is proof that Britney’s daddy needs to stop overseeing her press. She needed to have those kids of hers in the photos at all times. Not looking like a tangerine. – THAT GRAPE JUICE Eating his own food is what killed Jimmy Dean. This looks like corn dog’s with zits. Brech. – D LISTED Christina wants glommy with one of her dancers. Isn’t that Miley Cyrus’ thing? – MAIL ONLINE… Read More »

Poor Newsweek. It used to be so important. There were years when getting on the cover of Time and Newsweek were the be-all-and-end-all. But no more. Time now diffused that by putting a bunch of people on their recent 100 Most Powerful Issue and Newsweek, well we all know how that is bleeding at the seems, so who cares about being on that rag. Proof positive, the next issue features Sarah Palin (OK, so I tried to not discuss Sarah…but…) on the cover, showing how desperate they are to hold onto some kind of readership. Even if it is a… Read More »

The Citi-Skank, Debrahlee Bombshell Lorenzana, who was fired for overt chi-chi wielding, is on the move to becoming a spokes-model-person for sexually harassed women. Lorenzana — who’s admitted to having had plastic surgery to enhance her now-famous assets — was also at the Sugar Dining Den & Social Club, in Carle Place, LI, Thursday night, meeting with owner Brian Rosenberg to discuss forming Women Against Sexual Harassment (WASH). Debrahlee…which sounds like a Playboy bunny name…has not hired Gloria Allred…YET. My prediction from last week…because I am always right is that Debrahlee will garner a media career and hire Gloria Allred.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan’s assistant Elinore just quit. Between the lost passport drama in France and the boozy anklet nonsense, she must have gone bonkers. She’s been covering for Lindsay on all fronts, as at the recent photo shoot with the Cougar Lesbian. Anyone looking for a high-stress, low paying gig in the entertainment industry? Have fun. – TMZ Would you want to live in this Gross Baboon’s uber-tacky guido farm after this new Jeresy house-frau  got her stank all over it? I have been asking to exorcise that woman out of my home state for a week now. – E ONLINE… Read More »

There is a heartwarming article in The New York Times Style section today about sober living at summer shares at the beach. It surely is admirable, I couldn’t do it. Give me the caw of a seagull and I need to order a Planter’s Punch…stat. I’ve dabbled in sobriety and have been known to say,” I used to be friends with Bill…” Anyhoo, to support these guys taking the healthy step to be sober and have a life…I give them a few steps to add to their already 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.: The Other Steps of Fire Island We… Read More »

It must be in the Gore water. Karenna Gore and her husband Andrew Schiff are also splitting up. Yikes, Christmas at that house is sure to be weird. – HUFFINGTON POST Uh, oh…the bitch fight is about to get ugly. Christian singer (or used to be anyway) Katy Perry trashed Lady Gaga’s new video for Alejandro and I am sure the Lady will have something to say soon enough. – HUFFINGTON POST Are you ready to brech (vomit in Yiddish)? Here are still from the Danielle Satub porn video. – D LISTED… Read More »