“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

When Alphonse Karr said, “The more things change, the more they remain the same”, he must have had a vision of the United States, circa 2009. At a time when we are most in need of change (hey, I thought that was going to happen with the Obama Administration, but what do I know), we are just stagnantly maintaining the status quo, in light of our misgivings. The turn of events since the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas in which Barack Obama finally moseyed over to a microphone to make a poorly written and delivered speech about the “evil doers”,… Read More »

I don’t know who I fear most: Nigerian bankers, (surely American bankers give me the willies), or Yemenites or Charlie Sheen, and while I’m at it…Ivana Trump. Starting with Ivana. I actually share her sentiments with her yelling at a baby on board a flight from Florida to NYC yesterday. You know that feeling, once you are comfortably seated on the plane and some third world mother and her kid(s) or worse, a white woman and one kid, one who has not yet heard the word “no” plops down alongside you…well…it puts me over the edge anyway. And, apparently Ivana,… Read More »

Let us take a moment to observe the human species. You know, the mere mortals that plod along, making hay while the sun shines and other such honorable activities. Now, let’s take two such humans, and see how they spent their Christmas. This might shed some light on the condition we call human, while identifying the the difference between a good guy and a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club”. Our first human is Jasper Schuringa, a little known, rather, completely unknown film director wanna-be from Holland, who happened to be on that potentially doomed Delta flight from Amsterdam to… Read More »

Susanna Maiolo, the 25 year-old Papal sycophant has now had her second moment in the sun or in something that shines a light on her. What I would like to know is, if she tried (but failed) to touch the Pope’s garment last year, and she has a history of mental illness, and the Pope has an unlimited budget, that this woman was not monitored in some fashion or another. What do I know? Here’s what. If someone was after me, even with my limited cash flow, I would do anything in my power to keep them at bay. Celebrities… Read More »

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…well…something was roasting around the old I Mean…What?!? hearth yesterday, but chestnuts wasn’t one of them. Nuts…yes…chests…no. Without getting too far into it because I want peace to prevail on Earth, and share Tiny Tim’s sentiments by saying, “God bless us, every one.”… Read More »

With  MTV’s Jersey Shore stealing the spotlight on retard, it is with great regret that, once again, the state that I hail from is the brunt of a bad joke. It is inescapable. With every decade comes a slew of negative references to New Jersey. It has been a challenge (to say the least) when people ask, “Where are you from?” since moving into Manhattan. My knee jerk reaction has always been to say, “From here”. When pressed, I would mumble and walk away.” You would never know it, but I am proud to be a Jersey boy, just not… Read More »

As we wind down from a financially awkward year and look back at “What the F#@k Was That?!?”, let’s take a moment to consider what things we would like to see go away in 2010. Today’s article in Women’s Wear Daily on Novelty Fading for Pop-Up Shops suggests that they are losing steam, but retail events will be more necessary than ever, think Fashion’s Night Out. Pop-Up shops are not going anywhere since there are so many great reasons for them to continue thriving, considering all the empty retail spaces, not to mention the built-in marketing opportunities for the participating… Read More »

The Hollywood community is stunned today by the news and death of actress Brittany Murphy. Murphy, 32, was best-known for her roles in Clueless, Girl Interrupted, 8 Mile, and most recently Sin City. Here are the images that I’d like to remember Brittany by, those of her earlier films. At this most difficult time, we send our condolences to her family and friends.… Read More »

“To err is human; to forgive is divine” – Alexander Pope. The funny thing about our hypocritical society is that we are so quick to judge and so reluctant to forgive. The United States was created by a bunch of uptight religious zealots, Puritans, and their values are still immersed in our culture. No matter how modern we get, like Tiger(s), we do not change our stripes. As much as I am trying to ignore the Tiger Woods saga, it is impossible for me not to chime in every once in a while, especially when I see the Puritans having… Read More »

The whole experience of releasing the Muse Magazine images of Lindsay Lohan, shot by Yu Tsai, was an unbelievable experience in understanding the Anatomy of a Lindsay Lohan hater. There were plenty of them, who sent me hateful or angst ridden emails, about  why she should not have done the photo spread, as well as others who blamed me for her career choices. Please note: that 99% of these kooks were linked to me from Fox News. I kid you not. Most of the time I just deleted these comments, and sometimes I responded via the public forum. But the… Read More »