“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Just about everyone on Earth has been affected by Michael Jackson…somehow. Whether it’s your fondest musical memories, your endless, desperate, unsuccessful attempts to do the “moonwalk”, singing songs from Thriller in the shower to test your vocal chops or dancing in the mirror, alone in your room, grabbing your crotch. Michael Jackson is there, in your system, in your heart, and surely everywhere in the pop culture vernacular. We all adored him until we began to despise him. Reading all the reports, headlines, glowing life stories, endless news coverage of the late, great King of Pop, I could not help… Read More »

Today I am taking the day off from cracking jokes or making fun of anyone. My heart is heavy for the people of Iran. Today they need my–and all of our–support…at least in spirit. I wrote earlier this week about how I felt their pain as they took to the streets demanding their voices be heard. Well, they have been heard, but sadly, that will not change their lives as they live in a dictatorship. Sure, the politics of their government do not reflect mine, but nor does it reflect theirs. Today, I stand in solidarity with the people of… Read More »

In case you have been living under a rock in New York City, then you will surely know that the long-awaited High Line opened its pearly gates this week…after much toiling and trepidation. Finally, you can stroll down this lovely patch of whatever it is, that stretches from the Meatpacking District to Far West Chelsea. This, naturally, suits me just fine as I live on one end and have a client on the other. It’s as though they built this little walk-way just for me. And a stunning patch of thing it is….at night it’s amazing. Thank you New York… Read More »

Last week I suggested a new reality show, Real Housewives of the Republican Party, which would surely have been a jagoonza hit. Come to find out, that my idea was already in the air, as they are currently casting for Real Housewives of Washington DC. But, knowing that lame Bravo format, they will just cast bunch of pretentious wanna-bees, like they do in every other city, and the train wreck that will ensue, will just be like watching every other episode, insert city here…truly not that riveting. My show, however, would have been far more interesting and current. Since I… Read More »

Words cannot describe how annoyed I am that Perez Hilton released those photos of Dustin Lance Black in the full monty and every other position on Earth. As it is, I have drastically reduced my Perez viewing over the past several months. Had I not gone to Gawker, I would have missed this entry. But, I didn’t and I am fuming. That a gay man in the position of such power (Perez) would not do his damn best to protect an important gay talent is unconscionable. And why the hell didn’t Dustin’s publicist put the kabosh on those images? Someone… Read More »

OMG…I have come up with the most brilliant new TV show on Earth! The Real Housewives of The Republican Party. Come on. Admit it. It’s geniositude. Talk about watching a train wreck. This friggen show has more potential viewership than American Idol. Heck, Fox News would run streaming video all day of these Housewives’ shenanigans. I am obsessed with this idea. And if some fledgling cable network steals this show idea, let it be stated for the record, that on this day, June 12, 2009, I MEAN…WHAT?!? claimed a show which features political housewives wives. See you at the Emmy… Read More »

What a weird day for news. An octogenarian storms the Holocaust Museum? What is this man’s fitness and diet regiment and get me on it right now. That this guy, who most probably had arthritis could be so swift as to outmaneuver a security guard, lift a rifle and boom? I mean…what?!? This tragedy struck a chord deep within me as my mother was a Holocaust survivor. If anyone had the right to be a hater, it was her and her friends that  survived the concentration camps. Not some old, gross, goat who survived St. Louis, Missouri. In fact, hate… Read More »

Policy shmolicy. Who wants to join a group that doesn’t let you be who you are and cultivate the best in you? Gays want to be in the military? For what? The clothes? I am confused. Are you trying to tell me that grunting along some dusty patch of Middle Eastern soil is what you really want to go for? What about shopping on Madison? Or happy hours in Chelsea (NYC). The term “gay” kicked in the 1960’s and since then, the reference to homosexuality has shifted to a light, frothy, sexy lifestyle filled with booze, drugs and dancing. No?… Read More »

I simply must get political with you for one minute. Sure, Obama’s in (yay) and Republicans are dwindling like ad revenues from glossy magazines (boo), but something extremely odd happened yesterday in the state of New York and I am not sure what to do about this. For sure I need to share my histrionics. In a horrendous twist of fate, two Senate Democrats in New York state have crossed the aisle to become (shudder at the thought) REPUBLICANS! This is as bad, worse, than Darth Vader crossing over to the Dark Side. This is like the Evil Empire Strikes… Read More »

I’ve been an underdog my whole life. First as Jewish kid being raised in a predominantly anti-Semitic, blue-collar, armpit of a town in New Jersey. Second as a fat kid being raised in the pre-obese kids era that we live in now. I could go on, but will spare you my heartbreaking saga (the book is being written, naturally). As a new “blogger”, I am in the underdog position again, since there are 7 million to 10 million active blogs on in the Internet at any given time. Reading today’s Style Section of The New York Times (yes, I still… Read More »