“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Fiscal Cliff Schmiscal Schmliff. I am beyond over it. If I hear the words John or Boehner anytime soon I will bust a gut, surely not a move.… Read More »

So glad that Obama stopped being a Friggin’ Narc. Now pass me the box of Twinkies.… Read More »

Brooke Mueller in rehab is such old news that it’s weird that she was even in the news today for going to rehab…again…which is like her weekly adventure.… Read More »

Styled To Rock is styled to fail.… Read More »

WTF is going on with John Travolta’s hair? Does he not own a mirror? Is Kelly Preston, his occasional wife, living in another house since the gay rumors have swirled into truths? Are his publicists at Rogers & Cowan so afraid of him that they don’t know how to pull him aside and say, “Look, girl, you look like Esther Williams in a black bathing cap.”… Read More »

This Chanel model looks like the love child of Glenn Close and Tilda Swinton.… Read More »

As a “media outlet?” I Mean What receives some ferocious pitches. And when I say ferocious, I do not mean in a lion that roars kind of way, rather, redonculous hullabaloo of the highest order. One such bibble-babble that I had to share with you below. Like one Mike Ruiz event wouldn’t be enough for the hearty homo this holiday season. Now you too can clusgter fuck up holidays with two riveting festoons. This media pitch is one of the examples of why I recently declared: “I am no longer gay. Homosexual, yes. Gay, no.” As received in my in… Read More »

FINALLY, Gloria Allred will get her day in Lindsay Lohan court. After all the skanks Gloria has represented in the name of truth, justice and the American way, she was NEVER called into any of Lindsay’s many kerfuffles. (I love that word.) But now, as Lohan gets arrested for the umpteenth time and hauled into the precinct, a place she can soon call her home again, Gloria is taking the opposing side and representing that hag in question, Florida psychic, Tiffany Mitchell. FROM MARCH 18, 2011 You’ve got to love Gloria Allred. She is the omnipresent voice of reason, or… Read More »

Somewhere Over The Fiscal Cliff (sung to the tune of Somewhere Over The Rainbow) should be the official swan song for Lindsay Lohan and the Republican House of Representatives.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
Way down there.
There’s a bunch of gross baboons,
Drowning in their selfish pride.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
John Boehner sobs,
And Paul Ryan is wishing that he never took Mitt’s call.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan officially kisses her career goodbye.… Read More »