“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

  Yes, I am going to take full credit for Abercrombie & Fitch‘s recent move to pay off The Situation in order to have him cease and desist from wearing A & F crap. Yesterday, The Situation was prominently featured on The Not Best Dressed List besides which, I Mean What has done endless coverage of the Jersey Shore, from seasonal reviews to lamenting on how the popularity of this ilk proves that the end of the world is nigh. While I was writing this, Women’s Wear Daily reported that A&F reported a 64% gain in net revenue this quarter,… Read More »

Gotta hand in to the Democrats. When none of the Republican presidential hopefuls like Mitt Romney or John Whats-his-name could grab one headline from the Sarah Palin and her Catch Me Catch Me Tour, Anthony Weiner came up with a brilliant plan with the Democratic National Committee in an effort to diminish Palin’s rising star. Weiner-Gate is a complete fabrication—from the crotch shot to the titty shot. Weiner’s plan was to create this scandal and pull the trigger when it was looking like Sarah’s cutesy clueless act was winning over the hearts and minds of the people and more importantly,… Read More »

Yesterday, Madam Palin suffered from hoof in mouth disease. Today she feels liberated. “You don’t need to be in office to effect positive change,” Sarah Palin said. We know girl, that is why you quit being the Governor of Alaska. So you can positively effect your pocketbook. She went on to say, “Hopefully, I can inspire others to know that you don’t need a title.” Who is she kidding? She is a title-aholic. From Miss Wassila to Mayor of Podunk to Governor of the Tundra, to Wanna-Be Vice-President and to in any minute now, Presidential hopeful. Sure she wants her… Read More »

The Jersey Shore kids are gross. Not Gross Baboons necessarily, just gross. They are so wrong in so many ways. Have you been to Florence? It is by far one of the most beautiful cities in the world. They needed to have a pack of steroid-ed gumbas trouncing around the Ponte Vecchio like I am going to the moon. Reports from Italy have the locals cringing from horror that this somehow represents Italians in the United States. And then everyone wonders why Europeans turn down their noses down at Americans. The worst part is now that the Jersey Snore kids… Read More »

  Last night’s Correspondence Dinner in Washington DC featured many hilarious swipes at Donald Trump who sat in the audience. After cleaning off the dozen or so eggs off his face as a result of Obama’s real birth certificate surfacing, The Orange Donald sat in the audience and was brunt of endless jokes. If you have some time. Watch this video. Seth Myers is hilarious. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YGITlxfT6s… Read More »

Someone please tell Aubrey O’Day that there is no reason on Earth that she should attend a red carpet event. Her minutes, no, not the full fifteen, rather, the seven that she did manage to scarf down, are over. Aubrey dear, trust me, you must go away. Find a nice little town to set up a meaningful life because your attempts at creating a large life in Hollywood are not working. Be gone.… Read More »

On January 5, 1970, All My Children premiered while I was at home, sick with the flu from grade school. (Yes, that makes me 200 years old, but that is not the point here.) In my groggy state, I heard the All My Children Theme Song which jostled me awake, and there was Erica Kane. Though I was feeling better the next day, I exaggerated my cough and sniffle so I could stay home to catch more of Erica’s shenanigans. I continued with my charade and by the end of the week my mother was getting worried and took me… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece about Mistresses Anonymous, the organization started by Sarah Symonds of the Gordon Ramsey indiscretion. Seems like all the women in the boat of having had an affair with a celebrity married man, come out swinging vis-a-vis the media. At least Sarah chose to use her position for good by starting Mistresses Anonymous, clearly an honorable thing to do. She has also become the go-to bloviator for every current infidelity plaguing our airwaves from Tiger Woods to Jesse James. While Sarah is out stumping for the Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullocks and Elizabeth Edwards of… Read More »

Remember that sultry sweetheart from Tiger Woods‘ band of happy hookers, Rachel Uchitel? Well, turns out that there is life after scandal for this lip-locking, lip-enhanced, ex-doormat, I mean doorman from the Meatpacking District hot spots. Rachel, you may recall, was the only hooker that received an undisclosed several million dollars in exchange for keeping her trap shut, thanks to Madame Gloria Allred, her attorney mouthpiece. Anyhoo, Rachel having survived Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, is launching her next business venture as a private eye. Yes, just when you are ready to have someone followed and investigate their dirty dealings, you can… Read More »

Charlie Sheen is the Grossest Baboon Of The Year…this or any other. UPDATE TO MY UPDATE: Have you seen any of the interviews with Charlie Sheen? His arrogance knows no bounds. He occasionally says funny things, but the joke ultimately is on us, because he gets to stay him, and we get to watch. However this drama ends regarding the CBS Show Two and a Half Men, he will go on to make more millions and prove his arrogance was the right way to be. Besides the cast and crew of TAAHM, who are the biggest losers here, I feel… Read More »