“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

As a “media outlet?” I Mean What receives some ferocious pitches. And when I say ferocious, I do not mean in a lion that roars kind of way, rather, redonculous hullabaloo of the highest order. One such bibble-babble that I had to share with you below. Like one Mike Ruiz event wouldn’t be enough for the hearty homo this holiday season. Now you too can clusgter fuck up holidays with two riveting festoons. This media pitch is one of the examples of why I recently declared: “I am no longer gay. Homosexual, yes. Gay, no.” As received in my in… Read More »

You all know what I think about celebrity turned fashion designers by now. If not, you have been living under a rock. To refresh, my basic belief is that actors/actresses and reality stars should not think just because they like fashion, that they should throw themselves into the already  saturated market and leave the industry alone. It is the rare celebrity that successfully makes the transition, such as the Olsen Twins with their dynasty. Granted Sofia Vergara might be making a boat load of cash with her Attention: K-Mart Shoppers leopard numbers, but making money is not the only gauge… Read More »

The war in the Middle East will have nothing on the war that is kicking off at retail between wanna-be-perceived-as fashion retailers Sears versus K-Mart. Think what you want about television stars being the next big fashion statement, but between the similarities between the Kardashian Kollection at Sears and the Sofia Vergara collection at K-Mart, you can just give me a friggen break. Fast fashion is perhaps the saddest thing that happened to the industry. Sure, affordable style is a good thing. But it has run a muck. So, what, now, you can have a supporting role on an overrated… Read More »

Just when you thought it was safe to come out from under the falling dead celebrity fashion collections—I mean where is Zooey Deschanel‘s crap, Katie Homes’ nonsense and Sarah Jessica Parker for Halston—comes the worst bit of fashion news yet. Gossip Girl, that Shakespearean television show is getting its own fashion collection. Yes, this is true. Now we will have to live through the painful process of extensive cross-marketing between retailers and a list of television shows-turned-fashion designers. I cannot wait to see what Fox, CBS, NBC, ABC and Bravo have in store for us. As you may know, the… Read More »

Ever since Madonna jumped into the schmatta business, it has been a head-scratcher. Why the lame move from musical icon to tween celebrity-turned-fashion-designer extraordinaire? Sure, she’s made some cute moves like hiring Taylor Momsen, the Gossip Girl cast-off as the original face of the label, Material Girl. But overall, Madonna & Schmatta was just an odd lot job lot. The news that LA Triumph, a garmento company in California, is suing Madonna, claiming the rights to the name Material Girl is really annoying. Sure, the tween Macy’s fest is somewhat beneath my Material Girl but Madonna is and will always… Read More »

Who names hurricanes? Clearly no one in the fashion industry or celebrity publicists. I mean… Irene? Wouldn’t you just love to sit in on the meetings at the National Weather Center when they decide what to name the damn things? Surely it is nothing like when young newlyweds discover they are are pregnant and begin the painstaking process of deciding what to name the unborn child. Whose dead grandparent, whose godfather, godmother, favorite aunt or uncle, all of whom are deceased. No, when it comes to naming a hurricane, the ugliest names are up for grabs. Here are a few… Read More »

Just when we thought it was safe to get out of the water, that the celebrity-turned-fashion-designer trend was coming to an end—hello Sarah Jessica Parker—comes news that fashionista-slash–DJ Leigh Lezark, part of the trinella of sourpusses, the Mishapes, is doing a mini-collection for H & M at Selfridges in London. So, what, now all you need to do to become a fashion designer is know how to borrow clothes? The requirements have gotten so much easier. Surely pretty, and clearly not stupid, Lezark has made a career out of not smiling while standing behind a turntable flanked by two grumpy… Read More »

Let me be the first, well, perhaps the second person to congratulate Macy’s for doing a fashion-focused series of collaborations to generate heat and foot traffic. The newest collab is with Giambattista Valli for Impulse. All I can say is that creating fashion designer collaborations sure beats the celebrity-turned-designer nonsense from seasons past. Sure, Jessica Simpson is a billion dollar brand, but there will always be exceptions to every rule. With the demise of the Sarah Jessica Parker for Halston hullabaloo, maybe the fashion industry can rejoice and enjoy fashion designers again. And while I am at it, perhaps with… Read More »

With the new, improved I Mean…What?!? look, we are expanding our content to feature emerging designers and charities, which in some cases is the same thing. In the coming weeks we will also start a section called I Mean What’s Cooking?!? featuring recipes from all sorts of groovy people. Surely you will continue to receive your daily dose of what’s not quite right in the world of fashion, celebrity and politics, but I wanted to let you know what is in store for the coming season as I Mean What begins its next phase. For now, I’d like to draw your… Read More »

Gee, tell me something that I couldn’t have told you over a year ago when the Halston land grab was originally getting under way. Women’s Wear Daily reports that Sarah Jessica Parker and Harvey Weinstein are out at Halston. Why isn’t anyone saying, “Why were they in, in the first place?” The celebrity fashion designer phenomenon was in full boom right after the economy tanked and by 2010, there were more celebrities hawking schmattas then members of the CFDA. My guess is that all it takes are two lame seasons and the proof is in the pudding. Sure, there will… Read More »