“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, If there’s seventeen million at heart. You can go to extremes with impossible schemes, You can laugh when your dreams go right into the bank. The song Young At Heart keep popping up in my head after seeing this cover of People magazine with Kim Kardashian on the cover. My question is: Why wasn’t the first photo of the happy couple… the happy couple? Ahh, should we read between the lines? Or are the revised lyrics of the song (above) telling enough.… Read More »

Who doesn’t love weddings? They are always the most fun. The energy is high, there is love in the air and people look great, or as best as possible anyway. Last night’s wedding between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries must have been lovely, seeing that the affair cost 17.5 million dollars. Well, it didn’t cost anything really, that is the estimated sponsored value in-kind coupled with future earnings. This sounds  more like a corporate annual report, rather than loving nuptials. Can you imagine the obligatory photo ops that were going down at this thing? Whoever sponsored this lavish shmoozefest must… Read More »

Sometimes reading the morning news reminds me of the Enchanted Forest when Dorothy and the three caballeros are in search of the Land of Oz, only to be threatened by the pending doom of lions and tigers and bears. In that same vain, reading through today’s headlines, the three ladies who otherwise just lunch, Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are doing to me what those animals did to our heroes from The Wizard of Oz. Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for their use of a singer/model, Melissa Molinaro, who kinda looks like her.… Read More »

When I say the Kim Sisters, I do not mean Kim and Khloe Kardashian or Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. No, when I refer to the Kim Sisters, I mean the two singing Kims. Well, OK, they are not actual sisters but they may as well be twins when you listen to their music. I am talking about Kim Kardashian and her identical sounding twin sister, Kim Zolciak, from The Real Housewives of Atlanta “fame”. Don’t know what the hell I am talking about? Well, listen for yourself and you tell me that Kim K. and Kim Z. are not two… Read More »

Donald Trump* won’t discuss his failures like Trump University. What lying sack of shit would engage in an ongoing scam they’re embroiled in? I found a long, lost draft of one of my old Op-Ed pieces dated August 2013 about @realDonald Trump.  The content is so relevant to what is currently going on with his lame, reality show version of a political campaign that I wanted to share it with you as my first Op-Ed piece of 2016. FOUND DRAFT: ORANGE IS TRYING TO BE THE NEW BLACK- 8/24/13 – Midnight Rather than be frustrated by the fact that since my bicycle accident that’s put me out of commission, Kim… Read More »

I have been feeling very nostalgic lately. We are living in a time of war, poverty, obesity, adultery, mediocrity, obsession with celebrity, and the Tea Party. It reminds me of that scene in The Ten Commandments when Moses comes down with the tablets only to find the “chosen people” have completely run amuck. Donald Trump is like that Edward G. Robinson character, hyping up the flock to pray to the golden calf, a.k.a. Kim Kardashian. Who have we become? Why are like sheep to the slaughter of our own best intentions? Eh, this is not for now, but I did… Read More »

Clearly that well documented photo shoot between Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian for Elle magazine had a lasting impression on the impressionable Justin Bieber. His camp has announced the creation of Eau De Toilette Justin Bieber. Toilette being the operative word. Well, if you think about it, a fragrance for lesbians marketed to tweens is borderline genius. Anyone who is anyone knows about my ongoing issue with celebrity fragrances and why it irks me to no end. The fact remains that the egos of these entertainers has gotten so out of control, that it cheapens their act altogether. Not that… Read More »

So Barack Obama is going to be a guest on The View. That is more than interesting. Surely, this was David Axelrod‘s idea. Considering how down the line Obama’s ratings have gotten and while I am at it, Axelrod’s recent outing on the Sunday talk shows was less than stellar. Yup, it is time for yet another achy-breaky PR blitz the goal being to Re-Hail to the Chief. Granted, this is probably the worst financial time on the planet and the Administration is doing whatever it can to help our economy, but the war in Afghanistan is putting the nail… Read More »

To what lengths does one have to go in order to achieve fame? It wasn’t until years later that by simply sucking on someone’s cock (Monica Lewinsky and Kim Kardashian) that the distance one had to go to achieve fame was not that far at all. The only distance they had to go…was down.… Read More »

The hysteria around the Netflix show “Tiger King” has been very eyeopening. What is it about this low-rent animal abuser has Jared Leto, Cardi B, and the many other celebrities peacocking their obsessions with his unforgivable shenanigans? … Read More »