“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Angelina Jolie is rumored to play the Wicked Witch of the West?!? Say it ain’t so. Don’t get me wrong, I love Angelina Jolie. I love her enough to tell her not to do this, as it is NOT the role of a lifetime. Gia was that for her. Forget about Angelina Jolie for a minute and let’s just discuss why anyone in Hollywood thinks they have what it takes to take on the challenge of remaking The Wizard of Oz. And please don’t tell me that Tim Burton wants to do it. Though he is brilliant and everything, his… Read More »

I have heard just about enough from the Tea Party, the Tea Baggers, the morons, whatever you want to call them. What country do we live in and worse, what year is this?  When I think back to when the United States was truly, beautifully motivated for change, back in the late 1960’s, when our message was Women’s Rights, Black Power, Student’s Rights, Stop The War, Peace Now, Flower Power, Peace, Love and Woodstock, it makes me sad at the rhetoric we hear now from crowds. Many of these Tea Baggers can barely string together a coherent sentence and worse,… Read More »

Page Six reports about the proposed competition for The View from CBS-TV, you know, that network for old people, starring the lamest choices this side of the falling ashes of Iceland. Get this: Lisa Rinna – She can always lead the plastic surgery topics. Julie Chen – Nepotism…much? Bethenny Frankel – Yikes…like we need to see her on yet another network? Sara Gilbert – Yes, she was dry and funny on Roseanne, but that was 2,000 years ago. Where do I begin? First of all, all four of those don’t add up to one of Joy Behar’s shoes. And while… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »

Call me Frito-Lays. Call my sister Hershey’s. Call yourself Dell. Get the drift? In this age of globalization, internet marketing, reality television, and corporate takeovers we are all becoming a brand…one by one. No longer are we allowed to just flourish, we must apply the rules of corporate market-speak to every aspect of our lives. It’s tragic, really, because now you don’t know what is real and what is pre-fabricated to seem real. Don’t get me wrong, if I Mean…What?!? has to apply these rules of engagement in order to move forward towards monetization (did I just use that…HELP!) then,… Read More »

As we close another season of New York Fashion Week, I thought it most fitting to drag my poem “Fashion Is” out of the mothballs, which was written in 1986 and feels as current as a review from one of the many fashion blogs out there. My point is that nothing really changes. Good taste is always in style and what looks good now will look good in another 20 years. FASHION IS Fashion is—what fashion was, It’s just that it’s “in fashion”. And passion is—what passion was, And that too is “in fashion”. Designers choose the state of art,… Read More »

The other day I wrote a piece about the lack of factual information being bandied about regarding the fees that celebrities are charging to attend the New York fashion shows. Fashionista.com did a really sloppy report on these supposed costs and random facts about talent. I just read Cathy Horyn‘s column in The New York Times Style, and she too, like fashionista.com has some information that is questionable and quotes from people that should just not be listened to. The worst part of all this is it is a bad reflection on the industry, which right now does not need… Read More »

So, now I have heard everything…but this ditty takes the cake. My inside source in Albany said that New York Governor David Paterson is embroiled in a controversy that will make you chapp dein kop (hold your head in Yiddish). The New York Times is working on the story, which is said to break momentarily. Apparently, the apple didn’t fall far from the Elliot Spitzer tree and there is a rumor that the Governor used public funds to cop drugs (blow) and hookers (blow). Can you stand it? Blow squared? I would like to think this is not true…but since… Read More »

The biggest news after looking at the Fall ’10 Men’s Shows is Grey is the New Black. Period. Sure, black was all over the runway, too, and should always be a staple in everyone’s wardrobe. I don’t care (and nor should anyone) when the editors scream for “Color, Color, Color” like they did last season. Let all those editors walk around in horrendous shades of blue and orange (Gina Lollobrigida orange, to be exact) and leave the humans to wear what makes them look good, namely, black and/or grey. Now we have a whole new meaning to grey. Your job… Read More »

Let it be said that I called the Sarah Palin getting a Fox News deal early this summer. I wrote: “You can ask my sister Vivian, as we were watching the freakishly neurotic and overly audible Sarah Palin resignation speech on CNN, though we were shocked that they broke away from the Michael Jackson Minutia Report, that I immediately turned to her and quoted Deep Throat and said, “Follow the money”. Sarah Palin, the smart but insane sexist windbag, will write her book, which will read like a diary from an eight grader, do a massive book tour throughout the… Read More »