“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Yes, I love Jersey Shore with the rest of you, but really? Snooki is a friggen haggard mess. – SPLASH NEWS Should Britney Spears wear a bra? All in favor? Yay. All opposed? Nay. Daddy, get the hell out of her underwear drawer. – THE SUN Little Red Lady Gaga…did she or didn’t she have a face job. – DIGITAL SPY Awww, the original Gross Baboon is not having a good time of things. Attention all Gross baoons, this could be you! – HUFFINGTON POST Burberry Make up? Whatever. Celebrities design clothes, coats design make-up? What next? Hairdressers designing Chia… Read More »

Harvey Fierstein on Grindr? Yet another reason to not sign up for these gay easy hook up things. – PEREZ HILTON The Gross Baboons are getting a reality show. Michelle Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers are on tap to sleep their way to the middle. – TMZ Here we have a case where Steven Seagal is a cross between Gross Baboon and a Horndogs Anonymous member. – E ONLINE… Read More »

Jersey Shore Season 2 is filming at the Jersey Shore after all. Yeah, they started in Miami. But any money bet this thing is scripted now, and Snooki says, while fist bumping, “Fuck Miami, let’s go back to the Jersey shore where they get us.” – MTV Stop what you are doing and watch this…period. -YOU TUBE Frankly, I like these two. Seems like I am alone. Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton were partying hearty at the Nylon magazine’s 11 anniversary party other night. – NY DAILY NEWS Do you recognize this Gross Baboon, or skank…which ever you prefer? She… Read More »

By any chance, are you one of the 72 people that watches High Society? Isn’t it shocking how annoying Jules Kirby, Paul (wishes he was an heir to) Johnson Calderon and PrinceSS Adolf von Schtunkenberry are? And yo, Tinsley Mortimer, what’s the deal with all these phony situations? Doesn’t the CW11 realize this is as queer as a three dollar bill? That fake drama around the fake charity event could not have been more lame. It was like a fundraiser for Tinsley’s Q rating. Why am I watching this crap, you ask? So that I can report to you, my… Read More »

Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop) Who wouldn’t want… Read More »

After what was surely the greatest media story on Earth, second to the death of Michael Jackson, The Tiger Woods Affair…rather….affairs, took an unexpected turn when Elin, the long suffering golf club aficionado, reunited with her overly poontanged husband, Tiger. In the midst of that media flurry, when the public was introduced to 13 of the skankiest bitches on the planet, Elin hired an attorney and the prospect of 350 million dollars was surly the best reason to leave her philandering, sex addict of a husband for Sweden’s lake shores. But, the holidays came and went and Elin must have… Read More »

Ah, the allure of fame. Fortune tends to follow suit…unless you are Nick Lachey or Jon Gosselin. But, those are the exceptions to the rule. Back to fame. “Celebrity is obscurity waiting to happen,” says Carrie Fisher. And true dat. So who makes the list this week? Could it be anyone from the cast of Ugly Betty? That would be a yes. There is also Lordana Jolie, winner, Gross Baboon of the Year. Or perhaps it is Mel B…AGAIN…since I put her on the original Last Five Minutes of Fame List when I launched this category…fyi.… Read More »

What do Jon Gosselin, Hailey Glassman, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have in common? The fact that they are common. Longtime nobody Hailey Glassman has figured her way back into the media glare and boy, must she be in pig heaven. Well, if the shoe fits. We now have a story that she ransacked Jon Gosselin‘s, (the other pig in this story) New York City apartment, leaving a threatening note at the end of a knife. Ooooh….chills. The antics that these two (remember, water seeks its own level) gross baboons have been up to since they first made the scene… Read More »

Let us take a moment to observe the human species. You know, the mere mortals that plod along, making hay while the sun shines and other such honorable activities. Now, let’s take two such humans, and see how they spent their Christmas. This might shed some light on the condition we call human, while identifying the the difference between a good guy and a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club”. Our first human is Jasper Schuringa, a little known, rather, completely unknown film director wanna-be from Holland, who happened to be on that potentially doomed Delta flight from Amsterdam to… Read More »

Am I just an old, jaded, desensitized grump who disagrees with everything out of sheer habit or do I say what many people feel, and don’t say anything?!? Looking at the list that Barbara Walters (Babba Wawwa for those of you who remember Rosanne Rosanna Danna) put together for her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 reads like the 10 Most Googled People on Earth. Frankly, Google should do their own online TV show and let Babba settle into the distance. Google-able and Fascinating are not the same thing in my mind. Let’s discuss for one minute the word fascinating.… Read More »