“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Somebody stick a fork in me to see if I am totally cooked. The Story of the Week in Women’s Wear Daily is Fashion Video Games Target Female Customers. How depressing is that? The big news, in addition to the fact that it’s bad news from my vantage point, is that Project Runway is doing a video game. Yes, now you too can have hours of fun booting people out of the house, designing nonsense, and hearing Hedi Klum say “auf wiedersehen” from the comfort of your couch…all day long. Don’t get me wrong, I love Heidi and the TV… Read More »

Let it be said that I called the Sarah Palin getting a Fox News deal early this summer. I wrote: “You can ask my sister Vivian, as we were watching the freakishly neurotic and overly audible Sarah Palin resignation speech on CNN, though we were shocked that they broke away from the Michael Jackson Minutia Report, that I immediately turned to her and quoted Deep Throat and said, “Follow the money”. Sarah Palin, the smart but insane sexist windbag, will write her book, which will read like a diary from an eight grader, do a massive book tour throughout the… Read More »

I have been posting the Last Five Minutes of Fame for several months and Tila Tequila never made it because prior to my starting I Mean…What?!? in February ’09, Tila’s 15 minutes had pretty much been up. Well, the saddest reason has brought Tila back into the limelight and someone needs to keep her down. Lord knows this is her potential comeback. Maybe she and Loredana can collaborate on a book or better yet, a trashy reality show with hookers and bisexuals and needy bitches. What could we call it…hmmmmm…The Real Low Lives of Las Vegas. Oh Bravo…where are you?… Read More »

My head is spinning from the announcement of Bristol Palin’s new public relations firm that has launched called BSMP LLC. Since you asked, that stands for Bristol Sharon Marie Palin Lascivious Lame Crapola. Bristol has become the spokes-model for Candie’s Foundation against teenage pregnancy and abstinence, not that she would know anything about any of that. But besides the point, what next step is there for the teenage mother, really? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Palin compound (nee house) as they sat around trying to figure out next steps in world domination on the heels… Read More »

Here is what I cannot stand about the liberal media. That you have a certified jerk and admitted Oxycontin addict like Rush Limbaugh, rushed off to the hospital while on his Christmas vacation, admitting to the medical crews that he was taking drugs for his back problems. That old excuse? Where are all the conflicting reports? Where are the many spoofs on his drug addiction? Where is that hospital report? If this was any other well-known person (I hate to call him a celebrity because he is so gross), it would be all over the tabloids. But yoo hoo…must you… Read More »

Everyone is doing their Year in Review…why can’t I? Every news station, cable or otherwise, newspaper, magazine, website, you name it…it’s recap central. We are being accosted by The Year’s Best, The Year’s Worst, The Top Ten Movies, The Top Ten CNN Heroes, The Top Thirteen Tiger Woods Hookers, you name it, there’s a list going on. Well, I am not special, I want to do one also. So, join me as we sing Auld Lang Syne here at I Mean…What?!? and close out our (barely) first year since birthin’ the baby (not be confused with the Birther Movement). Herewith… Read More »

Am I alone here when I say, “This is what the New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has time for?” Taking time to discuss the Jon Gosselin break in? Oy, vey! Let’s hope that Hailey Glassman gets even more attention from the media when we find out that she was involved in this hoax. What would be the difference between this and Balloon Boy? I leave you with this…Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston were the most talked about guys in 2009…except for Tiger Woods, another picture of emotional health. And we wonder why America is no longer the power… Read More »

OK…I am going to say it. I was dead wrong about MTV’s Jersey Shore. My proclivity to defend New Jersey and how it is represented in the media took top spot to actually sitting down and watching all three episodes. Oh, my freakin’ God is it hilarious! First of all, let me start by saying that my three favorite characters, DJ Pauly D, Snooki and Mike “The Situation” are not even from New Jersey, so all is well in the world. So, with that, I have to give props to this group of goumadas. Now, do yourself a favor and… Read More »

What do Jon Gosselin, Hailey Glassman, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have in common? The fact that they are common. Longtime nobody Hailey Glassman has figured her way back into the media glare and boy, must she be in pig heaven. Well, if the shoe fits. We now have a story that she ransacked Jon Gosselin‘s, (the other pig in this story) New York City apartment, leaving a threatening note at the end of a knife. Ooooh….chills. The antics that these two (remember, water seeks its own level) gross baboons have been up to since they first made the scene… Read More »

OMG…IMW…Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the closet, both literally and figuratively, comes yet another fashion week that tops ‘em all. It is called Couture Fashion Week, which happens while New York Fashion Week is under way yet, does not get the attention is deserves. Before I get too bitchy, there is technical mastery in many of these pieces shown by a baker’s dozen of designers. However, the overall presentation feels tranny galore. NEWSFLASH: Johnna Escobedo, who works in my office, was at dinner the other night and couldn’t help overhearing a group of really… Read More »