“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

In a stunning turn of events, last night Barack Obama overshadowed Donald Trump and The Celebrity Apprentice as NBC cut away from the final moments of the show to announce that Osama Bin Laden was dead. In light of this, I suspect that Donald Trump will have a double bone to pick with the President. In an effort to maintain his spot in the news cycle, Donald Trump still has a few more weeks of The Celebrity Apprentice to promote and what better way than at the expense of Barack Obama? You can hear the headlines now. Why did they… Read More »

  Last night’s Correspondence Dinner in Washington DC featured many hilarious swipes at Donald Trump who sat in the audience. After cleaning off the dozen or so eggs off his face as a result of Obama’s real birth certificate surfacing, The Orange Donald sat in the audience and was brunt of endless jokes. If you have some time. Watch this video. Seth Myers is hilarious. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YGITlxfT6s… Read More »

The film, The Social Network has forced Mark Zuckerberg to come out of the shadows, rather, his computer screen. Since then, it seems that Facebook, which I used to like, has evolved quickly into a mass marketing machine. I am accosted with invitations to utter nonsense making my email inbox seem like a spam free zone, which it is not. Gone are the good old days when long-lost eighth grade classmates would stalk me now that that they see I am no longer a fatso however they are. We see Mark Zuckerberg everywhere: Dinners, power meetings with President Obama or… Read More »

Where is the outrage? We all know by now how horrendous the Tea Party is with all their racist Tea Bagging shenanigans. But now, things are really spiraling out of control. Where in hell is this Marilyn Davenport, the Orange County Republican Central Committee slash Tea Partyer woman who sent out a mass email depicting Barack Obama as a chimpanzee? What infuriates me is that every news outlet posted the offensive, inappropriate image but no one has posted a picture of the culprit, Marilyn Davenport. We at I Mean..What?!? refused to post that image as we consider ourselves somewhat tactful… Read More »

Kobe Bryant did the unthinkable. In a moment of heated passion and utter annoyance at a play on a basketball court, he spewed the two words that no homosexual likes to hear. This quickly became GLAAD’s call to arms, rainbow flag in hand, crying (with tears) foul. There was a time that simply the F-word was taboo extraordinaire on the courts with penalties mounting as the inner city kids were taking over the sport. This recent Kobe-Gate multiplies the drama times two because when he screamed F**cking Fa**ot, he was not just whistling Dixie. It was a double entendre and… Read More »

Arrest me for making this comparison, but both of these outspoken fringe-element characters, Pastor Terry Jones, being incredibly evil, and Jimmy McMillan, The Rent Is Too Damn High Guy, being hilariously right have one unmistakable thing in common: their facial hair. When these guys are not in front of the cameras spewing utter nonsense–again, one being extraordinarily evil, like Charles Manson evil, versus hilarious, like will-never-get-elected hilarious–they must be members of Barbershop Quartets. What Rosa Parks was to the Civil Rights Movement, Terry Jones is to the War On Terror. What Terry Jones did by burning the Koran will be… Read More »

NEWS UPDATE (April Fools, no joke) – Before you read yesterday’s story, the big story today is that Donald Trump will get a “morning chat” kind of spot on Fox News, during Fox and Friends. Bold, brash and never bashful is his slogan. Hot. He will appear every Monday, kind of like a Monday morning quarterback. (MARCH 31, 2011) – Anyone that cannot see that Donald Trump is taking the birther stance in regards to Barack Obama does not understand the politics of the Nielsen Ratings. Donald Trump has no interest whatsoever in becoming President of the United States. The… Read More »

The past few days while Charlie Sheen has been monopolizing the airwaves, the happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darndest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Now, these two bimbettes have synced up their talking points to the point… Read More »

Something wonderful happened in the aftermath of writing that story, What The Gap Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love. The next day—after my article had gone viral…… Read More »

They screw up the words. Christina Aguilera has been chastised for messing up a few words in The National Anthem. Big friggen deal. It sure beats screwing up the high notes. Meanwhile several states away, Sarah Palin did her usual spewing of nonsense comparing the Obama Administration to the old ad that Hillary Clinton ran about “It’s 3:00 Am, bla bla bla”. What’s great about Sarah Palin is that she loves guns so much, that she has taken to shooting herself in the foot every time she makes a public appearance. She has become her own moose. Speaking of words,… Read More »