“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Everyone is doing their Year in Review…why can’t I? Every news station, cable or otherwise, newspaper, magazine, website, you name it…it’s recap central. We are being accosted by The Year’s Best, The Year’s Worst, The Top Ten Movies, The Top Ten CNN Heroes, The Top Thirteen Tiger Woods Hookers, you name it, there’s a list going on. Well, I am not special, I want to do one also. So, join me as we sing Auld Lang Syne here at I Mean…What?!? and close out our (barely) first year since birthin’ the baby (not be confused with the Birther Movement). Herewith… Read More »

When Alphonse Karr said, “The more things change, the more they remain the same”, he must have had a vision of the United States, circa 2009. At a time when we are most in need of change (hey, I thought that was going to happen with the Obama Administration, but what do I know), we are just stagnantly maintaining the status quo, in light of our misgivings. The turn of events since the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas in which Barack Obama finally moseyed over to a microphone to make a poorly written and delivered speech about the “evil doers”,… Read More »

Am I alone here when I say, “This is what the New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has time for?” Taking time to discuss the Jon Gosselin break in? Oy, vey! Let’s hope that Hailey Glassman gets even more attention from the media when we find out that she was involved in this hoax. What would be the difference between this and Balloon Boy? I leave you with this…Jon Gosselin and Levi Johnston were the most talked about guys in 2009…except for Tiger Woods, another picture of emotional health. And we wonder why America is no longer the power… Read More »

OK…I am going to say it. I was dead wrong about MTV’s Jersey Shore. My proclivity to defend New Jersey and how it is represented in the media took top spot to actually sitting down and watching all three episodes. Oh, my freakin’ God is it hilarious! First of all, let me start by saying that my three favorite characters, DJ Pauly D, Snooki and Mike “The Situation” are not even from New Jersey, so all is well in the world. So, with that, I have to give props to this group of goumadas. Now, do yourself a favor and… Read More »

What do Jon Gosselin, Hailey Glassman, Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller have in common? The fact that they are common. Longtime nobody Hailey Glassman has figured her way back into the media glare and boy, must she be in pig heaven. Well, if the shoe fits. We now have a story that she ransacked Jon Gosselin‘s, (the other pig in this story) New York City apartment, leaving a threatening note at the end of a knife. Ooooh….chills. The antics that these two (remember, water seeks its own level) gross baboons have been up to since they first made the scene… Read More »

I don’t know who I fear most: Nigerian bankers, (surely American bankers give me the willies), or Yemenites or Charlie Sheen, and while I’m at it…Ivana Trump. Starting with Ivana. I actually share her sentiments with her yelling at a baby on board a flight from Florida to NYC yesterday. You know that feeling, once you are comfortably seated on the plane and some third world mother and her kid(s) or worse, a white woman and one kid, one who has not yet heard the word “no” plops down alongside you…well…it puts me over the edge anyway. And, apparently Ivana,… Read More »

Let us take a moment to observe the human species. You know, the mere mortals that plod along, making hay while the sun shines and other such honorable activities. Now, let’s take two such humans, and see how they spent their Christmas. This might shed some light on the condition we call human, while identifying the the difference between a good guy and a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club”. Our first human is Jasper Schuringa, a little known, rather, completely unknown film director wanna-be from Holland, who happened to be on that potentially doomed Delta flight from Amsterdam to… Read More »

With  MTV’s Jersey Shore stealing the spotlight on retard, it is with great regret that, once again, the state that I hail from is the brunt of a bad joke. It is inescapable. With every decade comes a slew of negative references to New Jersey. It has been a challenge (to say the least) when people ask, “Where are you from?” since moving into Manhattan. My knee jerk reaction has always been to say, “From here”. When pressed, I would mumble and walk away.” You would never know it, but I am proud to be a Jersey boy, just not… Read More »

As we wind down from a financially awkward year and look back at “What the F#@k Was That?!?”, let’s take a moment to consider what things we would like to see go away in 2010. Today’s article in Women’s Wear Daily on Novelty Fading for Pop-Up Shops suggests that they are losing steam, but retail events will be more necessary than ever, think Fashion’s Night Out. Pop-Up shops are not going anywhere since there are so many great reasons for them to continue thriving, considering all the empty retail spaces, not to mention the built-in marketing opportunities for the participating… Read More »

“To err is human; to forgive is divine” – Alexander Pope. The funny thing about our hypocritical society is that we are so quick to judge and so reluctant to forgive. The United States was created by a bunch of uptight religious zealots, Puritans, and their values are still immersed in our culture. No matter how modern we get, like Tiger(s), we do not change our stripes. As much as I am trying to ignore the Tiger Woods saga, it is impossible for me not to chime in every once in a while, especially when I see the Puritans having… Read More »