“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

  Yes, I am going to take full credit for Abercrombie & Fitch‘s recent move to pay off The Situation in order to have him cease and desist from wearing A & F crap. Yesterday, The Situation was prominently featured on The Not Best Dressed List besides which, I Mean What has done endless coverage of the Jersey Shore, from seasonal reviews to lamenting on how the popularity of this ilk proves that the end of the world is nigh. While I was writing this, Women’s Wear Daily reported that A&F reported a 64% gain in net revenue this quarter,… Read More »

Now that’s a coupling made in heaven. One desperate, unwed, teen mother, Bristol Palin, who uses the media to compete with her skanky ex-baby daddy, Levi Johnston, coupled with The Situation, a Staten Island goombah who is the most talked about character second to Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Coupling? Yes…because they will both be on Dancing With The Stars. Well, they won’t be dancing with each other…but trust me…we will see plenty of paparazzi shots of those two leaving the DWTS studio. So, what ever happened to Bristol Palin’s public relations business? Guess she decided to become her own… Read More »

 CHAPTER 6 – PART 1  THE FITNESS GURU? Losing a human being can be an exhilarating experience. Not an actual person such as a lover, friend or family member; that tends to be a sad affair, though not always. Losing enough excess fat that amounts to the weight of an entire human being, now that’s exhilarating. Such a loss—a person’s worth of blubber—referenced here, was something Abe Gurko was fortunate enough to experience. He attributed the unwanted amount of fat that he’d gained throughout his childhood to having been stuffed to the gills by an overly Jewish mother who survived… Read More »

I would also like to know if Barneys has done what they did to those African-American kids to low-rent, mad, white trash. It might be worth an ask.… Read More »

I have been commenting on Amanda Bynes and her desperate attempt to not be an chubby faced non getting work actress for years and now everyone has caught up to snuff. And when I say snuff, I predict that she may soon appear in a snuff film.… Read More »

  Speaking of bullying, I saw the film, Bully the weekend it opened. A touching, moving, slightly long film that shows the loss and heartbreak associated with bullying. I would have liked to have seen a couple of examples of upwardly mobile kids getting bullied because bullying is not a mid-west, low-income, rural issue. It is a national… rather global affair. Reading the article by Lee Hirsch, the director in today’s Huff Po, I wonder if all the hype and attention has the power to change man’s inner bastard. One can only hope, but chances are unless strict punishment goes… Read More »

One is pregnant, one is off to rehab, one is freelancing with Britney Spears, one went home to recover from depression, one needs to shut up. Can we just say that MTV’s Jersey Shore is over? So what, Season Six will be filmed at Dr. Drew Pinksy’s Celebrity Rehab with The Situation who discovers that this is a bad situation? Will Snooki be fist-bumping with Giuseppe at Lamaze Classes, or whatever her fiance’s name is? Will JWoww and DJ Pauly go to a singles dance to find new friends? Will Ronnie and Sammi tie the knot, only to find out… Read More »

When Presidential candidates are continually caught in lies and/or webs of deceit, someone has to stand up for Truth, Justice and the American Way. No? And really, who better than me, a fast talking gay, Jew who would otherwise would have been chastised for having an opinion.… Read More »

Who didn’t love the first season of Jersey Shore? MTV hit pay dirt with their updated Big Brother starring Goombas and Goombettes—a peek into the lives of those Bridge and Tunnel types that you otherwise turned your nose up at. It was a hoot. Snooki, The Situation and Pauly D were refreshing characters in all their low-brow, innocence and simplicity. Anyone in their right mind (we are talking about the MTV viewing audience here) would not give these folks the time of day beyond observing how they live and act. Like some kind of sociological experiment gone awry. Somehow, this… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnc7mpYHK-Y Last night at dinner, my friends and I got into a heated discussion on the difference between “yikes” and “eek”. These are two of my favorite expressions, with eek being the more recent entry to the list of Abe-isms. They both apply to various situations that express discontent with a situation or person. When using yikes, there must have a hint of humor in the situation at hand. Celebrity fashion designers are yikes. Whereas some celebrities, like Charlie Sheen, are an eek. Comprendevous? Anyhoo, speaking of yikes and eek, I watched one of the Karl Lagerfeld videos for Magnum… Read More »