“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Somewhere Over The Fiscal Cliff (sung to the tune of Somewhere Over The Rainbow) should be the official swan song for Lindsay Lohan and the Republican House of Representatives.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
Way down there.
There’s a bunch of gross baboons,
Drowning in their selfish pride.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
John Boehner sobs,
And Paul Ryan is wishing that he never took Mitt’s call.… Read More »

As if being a Lifetime Recipient of the Gross Baboon of the Year Award is not enough, Sarah Palin alluded to or hinted at or just plain vomitted this: “You know, it’s not too late for folks to jump in,” to the Fox Business Network Monday evening. “I don’t know, who knows what will happen in the future.” You don’t know? I know. You will lose miserably. And that will not help your chances of getting another reality show. Unless… and this is a prdiction: Mark Burnett and Sarah Palin want to do a reality show of a failed attempt… Read More »

Now that Donald Trump has been rendered useless post the anti-climactic finale of The Celebrity Apprentice, coupled with being booed of the political stage for sounding like a blowhard, comes his latest effort to shine the spotlight back on him. Since Ivanka just had a baby, all eyes are on her for sure so The Donald must feel like an old shoe moping around the manse. Today he bloviated over to Fox News to blather on about how Republicans should take on the big gamble and let the country risk defaulting on their loans. Well, he is a betting man,… Read More »

Tyra Banks, move over. We are now watching the ultimate beauty contest between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann as they go toe to toe in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model… Citizen? Now all we need is a segment with Miss J Alexander as he shows the hopefuls how to walk up to the podium with grace, turn, nod to constituents, wave ever so slightly, then walk off stage without answering any questions. There is little difference between these two ladies when you stop, look and listen to them. Welcome to our newest reality show, model camp meets… Read More »

What on Earth are you doing? You, meaning the media for giving unending amounts of real estate to Sarah Palin. Whether the media is covering her “I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour” (a.k.a. The Catch Me, Catch Me Tour) or giving her rebuttal time to maintain her cluelessness about Paul Revere for “ringing those bells”, we now have to suffer through 24,000 old emails from when she was Governor of Alaska, gazing at Russia from her back porch. The media are drunk on Sarah Palin’s Kool-Aid and now we are accosted with irrelevant plot points, junk mail and “You betchas” from… Read More »

Leave it up to Sarah Palin, with her grossly misguided sense of self, to launch her comeback from stupidity on Memorial Day Weekend. Kicking off in Washington DC, while grossly using the Vietnam War veterans to pull at heart strings, get ready for a calculated, lame attempt to prove to America, that her One Nation Tour is all about them and not about her. And if you believe that for one second you Tea Party zealot, well, by all means sign up here to buy a piece of what’s left of the Poconos. Sarah Palin and her yahoo family are… Read More »

The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too. In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote: The… Read More »

NEWS UPDATE (April Fools, no joke) – Before you read yesterday’s story, the big story today is that Donald Trump will get a “morning chat” kind of spot on Fox News, during Fox and Friends. Bold, brash and never bashful is his slogan. Hot. He will appear every Monday, kind of like a Monday morning quarterback. (MARCH 31, 2011) – Anyone that cannot see that Donald Trump is taking the birther stance in regards to Barack Obama does not understand the politics of the Nielsen Ratings. Donald Trump has no interest whatsoever in becoming President of the United States. The… Read More »

Whether Sarah Palin runs for President or not, the problem here is that she does not know how to shut her pie hole. Just yesterday she vomited these pearls on, what else, Fox News. “I’m still wondering who the heck is going to be out there with a servant’s heart willing to serve the American people for the right reason, not for ego, not for special interests, not with obsessive partisanship,” Palin, a paid Fox contributor, told the network’s Greta Van Susteren. I am confident that she will not run for President. Yes, she is a dumb ass, but Sarah… Read More »

The past few days while Charlie Sheen has been monopolizing the airwaves, the happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darndest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Now, these two bimbettes have synced up their talking points to the point… Read More »