“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Four years ago, Oprah made hay where the Obama sun shines and because of her, Barack Obama is the President of the United States. Now Oprah sits down with the Obamas to discuss life, family & politics. Here are a few key outtakes. Oprah also just so happens to have sat down with The Mitt Romneys as well, which sounds like a real bore. As mentioned in the past, Ann Romney scares the beJesus out of me.… Read More »

And if the theory of advertising is “sex sells”, then Paul Ryan is to politics that Brooke Shields was to Calvin Klein.… Read More »

Gross Baboon of the Year Award kicks off awards season here at I Mean What. Hey, look, the Razzies started somewhere and surely not in a ballroom. … Read More »

Sheldon Adelson, Karl Rove and the Koch Brothers are the new face of evil. Look into those pusses, long and hard and be very afraid. These Gross Baboons make the three witches in Macbeth seem like pussy cats. The Evil Empire Super Pac are bonding together to plan the demise of Barack Obama. Except that there is one major thing that these disgusting, sickening, vomitous creatures are forgetting. That Good ALWAYS triumphs over Evil. And with Karl Rove’s finger in the socket, that trinella is going to self-implode like I am sitting here. Mark my words or better yet, read… Read More »

John Edwards is the Max Bialystock of politics.… Read More »

What do Mitt Romney and Donald Trump have in common? Correct. They are both Gross Baboons, for different reasons, yet gross nonetheless. This has been a busy week for The Orange Donald since his television show the Celebrity Apprentice crowned Arsenio Hall the biggest ass-kisser to The Truupmeister. The way Arsenio talked with a bow in his voice to Donald begging for the job was reminiscent of that old…well, I am not going to say it because I will get stoned…. and not in the kind of way that I like. But you get my point. If cow towing to… Read More »

Mitt “The Bully” Romney gave the commencement speech at Liberty University, a conservative, southern Christian temple of doom, I mean, learning. There he pontificated on the fact that marriage is between one man and one woman. Romney was in the right place though to vomit his blather. Liberty U. is in Lynchburg, Virginia, where the graduating class would surely enjoy a good lynching of gays given the chance. Give me liberty or give me death? I think the Liberties would prefer to see the death…of gays.… Read More »

The good news is that Barbie (Barbara Millicent Roberts) is not really running for President of the United States. In fact, Barbie is the first “thing” to have signed up to join the I Mean What Party to Re-Elect Barack Obama. Contrary to today’s news reports—we all know you can’t believe everything you read—there is no way Barbie would for President. She has far more important things to do like lay on the floor in a suburban den. Even more ridiculous is the idea of Ken (Kenneth Carson) as FLOTUS. Can you see it now… Michael Bastian running to dress… Read More »

  Politicians are like an “IT” bag, and each season, there is a new “must-have”. This Presidential season is going to be the Chanel of wind bags. You find me one candidate for President of the United States, present company and President included, that is not prone to hypocrisy, and I will pay you money. Seriously, this is a one time offer, as I am not a betting man. No one on Earth can present the case for a candidate who does not talk out of both sides of their mouth and other orifices, in order to please the masses.… Read More »

Gotta hand in to the Democrats. When none of the Republican presidential hopefuls like Mitt Romney or John Whats-his-name could grab one headline from the Sarah Palin and her Catch Me Catch Me Tour, Anthony Weiner came up with a brilliant plan with the Democratic National Committee in an effort to diminish Palin’s rising star. Weiner-Gate is a complete fabrication—from the crotch shot to the titty shot. Weiner’s plan was to create this scandal and pull the trigger when it was looking like Sarah’s cutesy clueless act was winning over the hearts and minds of the people and more importantly,… Read More »